The Warrior Queen

Five qualities to look for in a companion

2009-08-13T03:12:00.001-04:00

When you try to find a companion in order that he may be your partner in acquisition of knowledge and your companion in your religious and secular matters, look for five qualities in him.

1. Intelligence. There is no good in the companionship of a stupid/ignorant man. Companionship with such a man end in isolation and separation. An enemy who is intelligent is better than a friend who is ignorant.

'Ali, may Allah be pleased with him said:

"Do not be in the company of an ignorant friend;
Beware of him and let him beware of you.

How often an ignorant man has brought destruction
to a forbearing man who has befriended him."

2. Good character. Do not be the companion of a man whose character is bad. He is one who is unable to control himself when he is angry and is overly excited when he desires something.

'Ali, may Allah be pleased with him said:

"Your true friend is he who is always with you,
And he who harms himself in order to help you,
And he who, when calamities of the time break you,
scatters his cloak in order to save you."

3. Piety. Do not be the companion of a fasiq who persists in major sin. This is because he who fears God does not persist in major sin, and he who does not fear God may cause you mischief; indeed, his attitude towards you will change with the changes in his luck and conditions.

Beware, because the constant sight of sin will remove the dislike of sin from your mind and will create the feeling that sin is something light.

4. Absence of greed. Companionship of a man greedy for the worldly matters is DEADLY poison, for human nature is such that the nature of one man tends to resemble that of another and to imitate it; indeed, a man's nature steals the qualities of another man's nature in such a way that he is not aware of it. Therefore, association with a greedy man will increase your greed.

5. Truthfulness. Do not be the companion of a liar, for he is like the mirage; he will show that which is remote near to you and that which is near remote from you.

. . . .

Men are of three categories:

One is like food from which no one can be independent.

Another is like medicine which is needed sometimes but not always.

The third one is like a disease which is never needed but with which man is sometimes afflicted.

~~~

[An excerpt from "Bidayat al-Hidayah" (Beginning of Guidance) by al-Imam al-Ghazzali]

Al-Imam al-Ghazali on the Duties of Brotherhood

2009-07-21T15:46:00.002-04:00

The whole Community of Believers is conceived of as a great brotherhood. ' Surely the believers are but brothers. So set things right between your two brother, and aware of God - perhaps you will obtain mercy' (Qur'an 49:10).

Know that the contract of brotherhood is a bond between two persons, like the contract of marriage between two spouses. In all, this comprises of eight duties:

The first duty is the material one. The lowest degree is where you place your brother on the same footing as your slave or your servant, attending to his need from your surplus. To oblige him to ask is the ultimate shortcoming in brotherly duty. At the second degree you place your brother on the same footing as yourself. At the third degree, the highest of all, you prefer your brother to yourself and set his need before your own. This is the degree of the siddiq, and the final stage for those united in spiritual love.

The second duty is to render personal aid in the satisfaction of needs, attending to them without waiting to be asked, and giving them priority over private needs. Here too there are different stages, as in the case of material support. The lowest degree consists in attending to the need when asked and when in plenty, though with joy cheerfulness, showing pleasure and gratitude. In short, your brother's need ought to be like your own, or even more important than your own.

The third duty concerns the tongue, which should sometimes be silent and at other times speak out. In short, you should keep silent about any speech unpleasant to your brother in general and in particular - unless obliged to speak out to promote good and prevent evil, and even then only if you can find no valid excuse for saying nothing. The lowest degree in brotherhood is where you treat your brother as you would wish to be treated yourself, and there is no doubt that he would expect you to veil his shame and keep quiet about his misdeeds and faults. Know that the mainstay of brotherhood is concord in word and deed, and compassion.

The fourth duty is to use the tongue for speaking out. Just as brotherhood calls for silence about unpleasant things, so it requires the utterance of favourable things. You should use the tongue to express affection to your brother, and to enquire agreeably about his circumstances. For brotherhood means participating in joy and sadness.

The fifth duty is forgiveness of mistake and failings. The failing of a friend must be one of two kinds; either in his religion, through the commission of an offence; or in his duty to you, through an omission in brotherhood. In the case of religion, where he commits an offence and persists in it, you must advise him kindly so as to supply his deficiency, put his affairs in order, and restore him to a correct and virtuous state. As for his error in brotherly duty, by which he causes alienation, there is no disagreement on the proper course being forgiveness and patience. Indeed, whenever a good interpretation is possible, or an excuse - whether obvious or far-fetched - can be advanced, this obligatory in the duty of brotherhood.

The sixth duty is to pray for your brother, during his life and after his death, that he may have all he might wish for himself, his family and his dependants.

The seventh duty is loyalty and sincerity. The meaning of loyalty is steadfastness in love and maintaining it to the death with your brother, and after his death with his children and his fellows. For love is for the sake of the Other Life. If it is severed before death the work is in vain and the effort wasted.

The eighth duty is relief from discomfort and inconvenience. You should not discomfort your brother with things that are awkward for him. Rather you should ease his heart of its cares and needs, and spare him having to assume any of your burdens. Such then are the duties of fellowship. Therefore you must bind all your faculties to their service.

These manners of the Outer are only the title page of the Inner and Purity of Heart. When hearts are purified there is no need of formality to display their content.

He who looks to the fellowship of creatures will sometimes be crooked and sometimes straight. But he who looks to the Creator is bound to the Straight Path both inwardly and outwardly.

His inner is adorned by love of God and his creatures. His outer is beautified by worship of God and service to His servants, for these are the highest kinds of service to God, since there is no way to them except by good character. The slave can attain by the goodness of his character to the degree of the upright keeper of fasts - and beyond.

~~~

[http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=7&ID=2001&CATE=17]

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2009-07-14T00:37:00.001-04:00

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Stories of Sincerity

2009-07-01T12:15:00.004-04:00

A pious man was travelling on a boat that was transporting a hundred containers of wine for a cruel king. The pious man smashed ninety-nine containers with his stick. When he reached the last one he left it alone. When they reached the destination, the king's employees turned him over to the king and related the entire incident.

The king asked, "When you had dared to smash ninety-nine containers why did you spare the last one?"

The man replied, "I smashed them on account of hatred for Allah's sake. Now you may do whatever you wish."

The king reiterated, "Then why did you spare the last one?"

The pious man replied, "After having broken ninety-nine containers my nafs became pleased at the thoughts of my bravery. Thus if I had done anything with this new spirit it would not have been purely for the sake of Allah. Therefore I did not break the remaining container."

The sincerity of the pious man moved the king so much that instead of punishing him, he repented and resolved to never drink wine. He then smashed the last container himself.

~~~

There is a famous story about Sayyiduna 'Ali, may Allah be pleased with him. He was fighting against a disbeliever and had the intention of killing him due to hatred for the sake of Allah. After Sayyiduna 'Ali subdued him and sat on his chest with the intention of killing him, the man spat on his face. Sayyiduna 'Ali at once let him go. The man was amazed and said, "You should have become even more angry due to my spitting at you and should have hastened in killing me. Why did you spare me?"

He, may Allah be pleased with him. replied, "Due to this action of yours my nafs became involved and my intention did not remain purely for the sake of Allah."

When approached by a nammam (talebearer) . . .

2009-06-22T09:53:00.002-04:00

“Imam Nawawi says:

Having summarily mentioned that talebearing (namimah) is unlawful, with the evidence for this and a description of its nature, we now want to add a fuller explanation of it. Imam Abu Hamid Ghazali says, “Talebearing is a term that is usually applied only to someone who conveys to a person what another has said about him, such as by saying, ‘So-and-so says such and such about you.’ In fact, talebearing is not limited to that, but rather consists of revealing anything whose disclosure is resented, whether resented by the person who originally said it, the person to whom it is disclosed, or by a third party. It makes no difference whether the disclosure is in word, writing, a sign, nodding, or other; whether it concerns word or deed; or whether it concerns something bad or otherwise.

The reality of talebearing lies in divulging a secret, in revealing something confidential whose disclosure is resented. A person should not speak of anything he notices about people besides that which benefits a Muslim to relate or prevents disobedience.

Anyone approached with a story, who is told, ‘So-and-so says such and such about you,’ must do six things:

(1) disbelieve it, for talebearers are corrupt, and their information is unacceptable,

(2) tell the talebearer to stop, admonish him about it, and condemn the shamefulness of what he has done;

(3) hate him for the sake of Allah Most High, for he is detestable in Allah’s sight, and hating for the sake of Allah Most High is obligatory;

(4) not think badly of the person whom the words are supposedly from, for Allah Most High says, ‘Shun much of surmise’ (49:12);

(5) not let what has been said prompt him to spy or investigate whether it is true, for Allah Most High says ‘Do not spy’ (49:12);

(6) and not to do himself what he has forbidden the talebearer to do, by relating it to others.”

[An excerpt from “The Reliance of the Traveler”]

~~~

An Exposition of the Way in which a Man may Discover the Faults in his Soul.

2009-06-19T15:41:00.000-04:00

Firstly, he should sit before a Shaykh who has insight into these faults and hidden weaknesses, and put him in authority over his soul, and follow the instructions he gives in connection with his struggle therewith.

Secondly, he may seek out a true, perceptive and religious friend, and appoint him to be the overseer of his soul, so that he notes his circumstances and deeds, and brings to his attention the inner and external faults, acts and traits which he finds dislikeable in him. This was the practice of the wise men and the great leaders of the Faith.

'Umar (may God be pleased with him) used to say, 'May God grant His mercy to a man who shows me my faults'. And he used to ask Salman about his faults when they met, saying, ''What things have you heard about me that you find dislikeable?' Salman pleaded to be excused answering this but when he insisted, replied, 'I have heard that you once ate two kinds of food at one meal, and that you have two sets of clothing, one to wear at night and the other for the day.' 'Have you heard anything else?' he enquired, and he said that he had not. 'These two things,'he said, 'I now renounce'.

It was ever the desire of religious people to discover their faults through being told of them by others; however, things have come to such a pass with us that the most hateful of all people are those who counsel us and draw our attention to our defects.

The third way is to learn of the faults of one's soul by listening to the statements of one's enemies, for a hostile eye brings out defects: it may happen that a man gains more from an enemy and a foe who reminds him of his faults than from a dissimulating friend who praises and speaks highly of him, and hides from him his faults. Although human nature is inclined to disbelieve an enemy and to interpret his statements as the fruit of envy, still, the man of insight, whose faults must necessarily be noised abroad in the statements of his foes will not fail to derive some benefit.

The fourth way is to mingle with people, and to attribute to oneself every blameworthy thing which one sees in them. For 'the believers are mirrors one to another', and recognize their own faults in the faults of others, knowing that temperaments are similar in the following of desire, and that every attribute in a man must be shared by his associate to some degree; thus one will come to scrutinise one's own soul and cleanse it of everything one finds blameworthy in others. This constitutes the highest degree of self-discipline. 'Were all people only to renounce the things they dislike in others they would not need anyone to discipline them. Jesus (upon whom be peace) was once asked, 'Who taught you?' 'I was taught by no-one,' he replied. 'I perceived the ignorance ofthe ignorant man, and avoided it'.

[An excerpt from "Disciplining the Soul" by al-Imam al-Ghazzali]

~~~

We conclude from the above that seeing the faults of others could bring about either one of two consequences: positive or negative.

Positive is when we reflect what we see from the faults of others on our state, and then from there, begin rectifying our state. Positive is also when we ask Allah to bless us with the exceptional wisdom in offering sincere advice (make da'wah) to those with faults hoping that in return a friend would do the same when they see our faults.

Negative, as we would generally have already experienced, is when arrogance creeps in on oneself, refusing to reflect and 'attribute to oneself every blameworthy thing which one sees in others'.

اللهم استر عوراتنا وآمن روعاتنا

We ask Allah to help us rectify our state and purify our soul...

Anger. Some advices for us all.

2009-06-18T08:56:00.001-04:00

The Prophet 'alayhissalatu wassalam was asked, "What will save me from the wrath of God?" He said, "Do not express your anger."

He, 'alayhissalatu wassalam, has also said: “If one of you gets angry, he should be quiet.”

"The strong man is not the one who can throw another down. The strong man is the one who can keep hold of himself when he is angry.”

~~~

Anger, if it is truly and sincerely for Allah's sake, will only inspire us to noble deeds and to personal sacrifice, and never to base, unjust, or ignoble actions.

Anger is a very powerful emotion. It rages through a person, creating a desire for revenge and for striking out at the object of anger.

Anger is an emotion that inspires action, if left unchecked and uncontrolled, it is the emotion that can lead a person to the evilest of deeds and to the worst consequences.

Anger is a destabilizing thought. It is the most dividing emotion between friends; it takes away judgment, leads to depression, madness and wrong actions that we would repent later on when we are not angry.

~~~

Anger that inspires a person to avenge his own personal feelings is indeed blameworthy.

Among the chief causes of anger are pride and arrogance, since a prideful person is most easily offended and the most painfully stung by criticism.

Another cause of anger is being argumentative. The more a person disputes with others, the less likely he is to accept the truth. His views become increasingly polarized and emotionally charged.

Anger snatches away the wisdom of man and thus he becomes a brute beast devoid of any sense.

Anger weakens a person's Iman.

~~~

One preventive medicine is to avoid being too sensitive to pressure and become "deaf, dumb and mute".

~~~

Check the circumstance, check your words, check yourself. Because sometimes, you may find that the other person violated one rule and find yourself violating ten.

اللهم بصر لنا عيوبنا

O Lord, show us our own flaws!

May Allah forgive . . .

Dhikr of the tongue, the heart and the limbs.

2009-06-13T16:15:00.001-04:00

Dhikr can take place with the tongue, for which the one who utters it receives reward, and it is not necessary for this that he understand or recall its meaning, on condition that he not mean other than its meaning by its utterance; and if, in addition to its utterance, there is dhikr in the heart, then it is more complete; and if there is, added to that, the recollection of the meaning of the dhikr and what it entails such as magnifying Allah and exalting Him above defect or need, it is even more complete; and if all this takes place inside a good deed, whether an obligatory prayer, or jihad, or other than that, it is even more complete; and if one perfects one's turning to Allah and purifies one's sincerity towards Him: then that is the farthest perfection.

Fakhr al-Din al-Razi said: "What is meant by the dhikr of the tongue is the expressions that stand for tasbih, tahmid, and tamjid -- exaltation, praise, and glorification.

As for the dhikr of the heart, it consists in reflection on the proof - texts that point to Allah's essence and His attributes, on those of the obligations including what is enjoined and what is forbidden so that one may examine the rulings that pertain to them, and on the secrets of Allah's creation.

As for dhikr of the limbs, it consists in their being immersed in obedience, and that is why Allah named prayer as "dhikr" when He said: "When the call is proclaimed on Jumu'ah, hasten earnestly to the dhikr of Allah" (62:9).

It is reported from some of the Knowers of Allah that dhikr has seven aspects:

Dhikr of the eyes, which consists in weeping (buka');

dhikr of the ears, which consists in listening (isgha');

dhikr of the tongue, which consists in praise (thana');

dhikr of the hands, which consists in giving (`ata');

dhikr of the body, which consists in loyalty (wafa');

dhikr of the heart, which consists in fear and hope (khawf wa raja');

dhikr of the spirit, which consists of utter submission and acceptance (taslim wa rida)."

~~~

[An excerpt from: http://www.sunnah.org/ibadaat/dhikr.htm]

"For without doubt, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."

(13:28)

"My name is Gossip..."

2009-05-16T00:34:00.000-04:00

"Dear people of the earth,

My name is Gossip.

I have no respect for justice.
I aim without killing.
I break hearts and ruin lives.
I am cunning, malicious and gather strength with age.
The more I am quoted, the more I am believed.
I flourish at every level of society.
My victims are helpless.
They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face.
To track me down is impossible.
The harder you try, the more exlusive I become.
I am nobody's friend.
Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same.
I topple governments and wreck marriages.
I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartaches and indigestion.
I spawn suspicion and generate grief.
I make innocent people cry in their pillows.
Even my name hisses.

I am called Gossip.

Office gossip - Shop gossip - Party gossip - Telephone gossip.

I make headlines and headaches.

Please continue making me the most exclusive forever.

Thank you.

Love,

Gossip."

Drill this into your head, when you repeat a story, be it good or bad, ask yourself :

"Is it true?" "Is it fair?" "Is it even necessary?" If not, just don't repeat it. As simple as that.

Great minds discuss ideas.
Average minds discuss events.
Shallow minds discuss people.

So which are you?

Seven Easy Ways to Maximum Motivation

2009-05-15T19:47:00.000-04:00

By Brian Tracy

Appreciate People For Everything They Do

There are three keys to getting the best out of others, and the first of these is appreciation. Every time you thank another person, you cause that person to like themselves better. You raise their self-esteem and improve their self-image. You cause them to feel more important. You make them feel that what they did was valuable and worthwhile. You empower them.

Build Your Own Self-Esteem

And the wonderful thing about thanking other people is that, every time you say the words “thank you,” you like yourself better as well. You feel better inside. You feel happier and more content with yourself and life. You feel more fully integrated and positive about what you are doing. When you develop an attitude of gratitude that flows forth from you in all of your interactions with others, you will be amazed at how popular you will become and how eager others will be to help you in whatever you are doing.

Praise and Approve Others Continually

The second way to make people feel important, to raise their self-esteem and give them a sense of power and energy, is by the generous use of praise and approval. Psychological tests show that, when children are praised by the people that they look up to, their energy levels rise, their heart rates and respiratory rates increase and they feel happier about themselves overall.

Make People Feel Important

Perhaps the most valuable lesson in Ken Blanchard’s book The One Minute Manager is his recommendation to be giving “one-minute praising” at every opportunity. If you go around your home and through your social relationships praising and giving genuine and honest approval to people for their accomplishments, large and small, you will be amazed at how much more people like you and how much more willing they are to help you achieve your goals.

Practice the Law of Reciprocity

There is a psychological law of reciprocity that says, “If you make me feel good about myself, I will find a way to make you feel good about yourself.” In other words, people will always look for ways to reciprocate your kindnesses toward them.When you look for every opportunity to do and say things that make other people feel good about themselves, you will be astonished at not only how good you feel, but at the wonderful things that begin to happen all around you.

Pay Attention When They Talk

The third way to empower others, to build their self-esteem and make them feel important is simply to pay close attention to them when they talk. The great majority of people are so busy trying to be heard that they become impatient when others are talking. But this is not for you. Remember, the most important single activity that takes place over time is listening intently to the other person when he or she is talking and expressing himself or herself.

Take Every Opportunity to Build People Up

Again, the three general rules for empowering the people around you, which apply to everyone you meet, are appreciation, approval, and attention. Voice your thanks and gratitude to others on every occasion. Praise them for every accomplishment. And pay close attention to them when they talk and want to interact with you. These three behaviors alone will make you a master of human interaction and will greatly empower the people around you.

Action Exercises:

Now, here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, make people feel important. Look for ways to express praise and approval at every opportunity.

Second, practice the special art of listening to people when they want to talk. It makes people feel special and appreciated.

This is what Islam teaches us...

Guidelines for a perfect marriage.

2009-01-21T08:01:00.000-05:00

Be a merited wife for your husband as Allah wants you to be; a woman with a prosperous life in this world and a guaranteed salvation in the other world. The following steps may help you to recognize your duties as a wife and to better fulfill them.

1. Accompany your husband to reach his sacred goal and be a partner in safeguarding the marital life. For the true love is not to look at each other in the eyes, rather to look towards the same direction, that is, towards Allah. Know that accompanying your husband in same affairs would add to the beauty of marriage life.

2. Try to habituate yourself to religious performances inside the house such as recitation of the Holy Quran in the morning, reading Islamic books and magazines, etc. It would have more effect on you if you do it together with your husband.

3. Do not separate yourself from the people and do not let the marriage prevent you from participating in social affairs, for your duty to defend the truth (Islam) and help the deprived is not only limited to singleness. Be aware that marriage is not a golden cage to surround yourself with. Rather, husband and wife are as two wings of a bird, the existence of both of which are essential for flying. It is with the cooperation of each other that you will have a prosperous life.

4. Your house should be as simple as the Prophet's ('alaihissalatu wassalam) house; its only decoration being love, affection, and unity for the sake of Allah; not the luxury things for nothing is more beautiful than love and affection and greater than simplicity.

5. If your husband attempts to misguide you towards the fire of the hell be stronger and guide him to the paradise. Do not accompany him if he is making sin, for your deeds will be the only intercessor on the resurrection day, not your husband and/or the children.

6. Be a conscience to your husband; stop him from making any sin and encourage him to worship. By doing this you will become a woman whom the Holy Prophet ('alaihissalatu wassalam) described as :

"After his faith in Allah, a believer has not achieved anything better than a nice wife who would make him happy and help him in serving Allah."

7. Read books about the children and the methods of upbringing in Islam before having a baby for your child is a trust that Allah has given you to take care of. Be careful of how you bring him up and how you make his personality.

8. Be patient and accompany your husband in bearing the difficulties and pressures of life, and encourage him to resistance when he is disappointed. Help him when there is nobody else to solace him. Be like Sayyidatina Khadijah (radhiyallahu 'anha) whom the Holy Prophet ('alaihissalatu wassalam) said about:

"She (Sayyidatina Khadijah) helped me when people degraded me and believed me when others disbelieved me."

Be aware that any man needs a wife to be beside him in facing the difficulties; a wife who would stay in the same line with her husband when everybody else is opposing him and who would give confidence to him to face all problems.

9. As his loyal assistant, arrange your husband's room for his social activities, respect his decisions, and help him to manage his social affairs (provided that the husband's activities are in line with Islam's teachings). By doing this his love for the house and the family would increase.

10. Do not attempt to impose your idea on him or supervise his activities for the freedom of every being should be considered.

11. Talk about generosity and optimism to your husband and invigorate these characteristics in him. Encourage him in bearing the burden of his great responsibilities and know that your encouragement is the most effective one. The effect of your husband on the people is a reflection of the effect of you on him. If you treat your husband as a polite, successful, brave, faithful and honest man then he would become a man with all these characteristics. Be a great wife who stands behind a great husband.

12. Learn from the skills of your husband what you do not know and use his experiences. Teach him whatever he does not know. Be aware that a successful life is not achieved only when the man is pious but when the woman is pious as well.

13. Contentment is the most beautiful characteristic that one may have in the world. The Holy Prophet ('alaihissalatu wassalam) said: "Allah will not accept the good deeds of the wife who imposes more than her husband could afford on him and when she meets Allah, she will find him angry with her."

Be a follower of Sayyidatina Fatimah Zahra (radhiyallahu 'anha). When Imam Ali (radhiyallahu 'anhu) one day saw her pale face, he asked: "What has happened to you, Fatimah?"

She answered: "We did not have anything in the house for three days."

The Imam said: "Why didn't you tell me?"

She replied: "My father, the Prophet of God told me on the wedding night : Fatimah, eat when Ali brings food, otherwise do not ask for it."

14. Be the first to reconcile when there is a quarrel between you and your husband for Allah has said: "And if a woman fears ill usage or desertion on the part of her husband, there is no blame on them if they effect a reconciliation between them and reconciliation is better."

Reveal your affection to your husband and teach him a lesson with your reconciliation that he would never forget.

16. Avoid anger and jeer. Do not argue much and do not reveal the other's faults. Do not ask for a life like the other's for it would weaken the marriage bond. Forget and forgive things that might upset you. Your life is now different from when you were single since you are sharing your life with somebody else.

InsyaAllah, these points may remind our dear sisters of some of their great responsibilities and help them to become a faithful wife.

(http://www.ezsoftech.com)

A wife's basic rights.

2009-01-21T00:25:00.000-05:00

NOTE: This is distinct from her other rights regarding living expenditures, housing, clothing, and education of children. And from Allah comes all success.

1. The first and worthiest condition of marriage to be fulfilled by the husband is to keep the promise or promises he made to the wife at the time he married her.

2. He cannot order her to do anything that is against religion.

The Prophet 'alahissalatu wassalam said :

"No obedience is due to creatures in disobedience of the Creator".

3. He must exercise patience and be prepared to listen to her advice in every situation.

The Prophet 'alahissalatu wassalam listened to the advice of his wives in matters ranging from the smallest to the greatest.

4. If she invites him to wake up and perform the late night prayer, it is praiseworthy for him to do so and vice-versa.

The Prophet 'alahissalatu wassalam prayed for such people:

"May Allah grant mercy to a man who gets up at night and prays, and wakes up his wife, and if she refuses, he sprinkles water in her face; may Allah grant mercy to a woman who gets up at night and prays, and wakes up her husband, and if he refuses, she sprinkles water in his face."

5. He must respect her and pay attention to her needs so that she will respect him and pay attention to his.

6. He must control his passions and act in a moderate manner especially in the context of sexual intercourse. Remember that Allah has placed between you and her "friendship and mercy", not the gratification of your every lust; and that the Prophet 'alahissalatu wassalam advised young men to marry "because it casts down the gaze and walls up the genitals," not in order to stimulate sexual passions.

The husband should habitually seek refuge in Allah before approaching his wife and say:

"O Allah, ward off the satan from us and ward him off from what you have bestowed upon us in the way of children."

Allah has called each spouse a garment for the other (2:187), and the purpose of garments is decency.

The Prophet 'alahissalatu wassalam further said that he who marries for the sake of decency and modesty, Allah has enjoined upon Himself to help him.

7. He must never ever divulge the secrets of the household and those of the married couple.

8. He must strive with sincerity to acquire her trust, and seek her welfare in all the actions that pertain to her.

9. He must treat her generously at all times. The Prophet 'alahissalatu wassalam said that the best gift or charity is that spent on one's wife.

10. If she works outside the house, it is praiseworthy for the husband to hire house help to relieve her from too heavy a burden. The wife's duties do not require her to clean nor cook. It is the husband's duty to provide a nursemaid, food for older children, and servants to clean and cook. However, if the wife does those things out of mercy and love, it is a gift to the husband on her part.

11. He must avoid excessive jealousy.

The Prophet 'alahissalatu wassalam said: "Do not be excessively jealous of your wife lest evil be hurled at her on your account."

12. He must protect her honor and not place her in situations where it is compromised or belittled.

The Prophet 'alahissalatu wassalam said that Allah will not ever let him enter Paradise who cares little who shares his wife's privacy. This includes the husband's brother, uncle, and nephew, let alone non-related friends, neighbors, and complete strangers.

13. He must exercise patience and forgiveness in the case of disagreement or dispute, and not rush to divorce.

The declaration of divorce is a grave matter indeed, and the Prophet 'alahissalatu wassalam said: "Of permitted matters, the most loathesome before Allah is divorce."

In another hadith he said that divorce is so grave that because of it Allah's throne is made to shake.

He, 'alahissalatu wassalam, also said: "The best intercession [i.e. intervention of a third party] is that which brings back together the husband and the wife."

Womanizing -- Divorce for the purpose of marrying another woman out of sexual attraction incurs Allah's curse according to the hadith: "Allah's curse is on the womanizing, divorcing man."

Finally, even in the midst of and after divorce, Allah has prescribed kindness upon the man: "(After pronouncing divorce) she must be retained in honor or released in kindness." (2:228).

14. He must not dwell on what he dislikes in his wife, but on what he likes.

15. The husband is not to stay away from his wife or keep his wife in a state of suspense, whether at home or abroad, for a protracted period of time except with her consent.

Allah said: "Turn not away (from your wife) altogether, so as to leave her hanging. If you come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Merciful." (4:129).

Protracted separation (6 months or more in the Shafi'i mazhab) without prior or subsequent arrangement with the wife, whether the husband is away willingly or unwillingly (for example due to war, imprisonment, or illness) is sufficient grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.

16. The Prophet 'alahissalatu wassalam said: "Do not beat your wife."

He also said: "Do not strike your wife in the face."

The Prophet 'alahissalatu wassalam condemned the man who beats his wife in the day and then approaches her at night. And to beat her to the extent of inflicting serious injury is enough grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.

17. Caring for one's wife's sexual fulfillment is an obligation of religion.

The Prophet 'alahissalatu wassalam warned against rushing to gratify one's pleasure and forgetting that of one's wife. He also disliked that the husband should quickly withdraw from his wife afterwards, as it is a strain upon the wife. If she asks for intercourse, he should not refuse.

Conclusion

These are only some of the basic duties of the husband in Islam. The state of marriage is part of one's adherence to the Sunnah and an exalted state of life indeed.

One's behavior towards one's wife is the measure of the perfection of one's belief as the Prophet 'alahissalatu wassalam said: "The most complete of the believers in his belief is he who perfects his manners, and the best of you in manners are those who act best towards their wives."

Marriage must be approached with utmost seriousness, entered with the purest intent, and cultivated religiously as it does not come cheaply and it carries immense reward.

The Prophet 'alahissalatu wassalam called it "his way" and "half of religion" and he also said: "Two raka'at of the married person are better than seventy raka'at of the unmarried."

He also warned that among the greatest of responsibilities that had been placed upon men is that pertaining to the treatment of their wives.

(http://www.sunnah.org/msaec/articles/responsibilities_husband.htm)

How to make your husband happy.

2009-01-08T17:01:00.000-05:00

1. Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you,begin with a good greeting.

* Meet him with a cheerful face.
* Beautify and perfume yourself.
* Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested.
* Receive him with loving and yearning sentences.
* Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time.

2. Beautify and Soften the Voice

* For your husband only, it shouldn't be used in front of non-mahram men (men who can marry you if you were unmarried).

3. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

* Taking good care of your body and fitness.
* Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes.
* Bath regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces or bad smells.
* Avoid that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape.
* Avoid prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tatoo.
* Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes.
* Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time.
* However with these things you should avoid excessiveness and, of course, only act as such in front of mahrem men and women.

4. Intercourse

* Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it.
* Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning yourself of released fluids during intercourse.
* Exchange loving phrases with your husband.
* Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire.
* Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband, and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after returning from a travel, weekends, etc.

5. Satisfaction With What Allah (SWT) Has Allotted

* You shouldn't be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job.
* You should look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember Allah (SWT) for all that was given to you.
* You should remember that real wealth lays in Iman and piety.

6. Indifference to Worldly Things

* You should not consider this world as your hope and interest.
* You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things.
* Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible (Halal), but it means that one should look forward to the hereafter and utilize whatever Allah SWT gave them to achieve paradise (Jannah).
* Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give charity and feed poor and needy people.

7. Appreciation

8. Devotion and Loyalty

* In particular in times of calamities in your husband's body or business, e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy.
* Supporting him through your own work, money, and properties if needed.

9. Compliance to Him

* In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited (Haram).
* In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his
support and consultant.

10. Pleasing Him If He Is Angry

* First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger.
* But if it happens that you can't, then try to appease him as follows:
1- If you made a mistake, then apologize.
2- If he made a mistake, then :
# Keep still instead of arguing or
# Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully
with him.

11. Guardianship While He is Absent

* Protecting yourself from any prohibited relations.
* Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things that the husband don't like other people to know.
* Take care of the house and children.
* Take care of his money and properties.
* Do not go out of your house without his permission and put on full hijab.
* Refuse people whom he does not like to come over.
* Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place.
* Be good with his parents and relatives in his absence.

12. Showing Respect for his Family and Friends

* You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his parents.
* You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives.
* You should avoid putting him is a position where he had to choose between his mother and his wife.
* Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.
* Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home.
* Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in calamities, etc..

13. Admirable Jealousy

* Jealousy is a sign for wife's love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulting or backbiting others, disrespecting them, etc.
* You should not follow or create unfounded doubts.

14. Patience and Emotional Support

* Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances.
* When you face calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your husband, your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases, accidents, death, etc.
* When facing hardships in Da'wah (imprisonment, getting fired, arrested, etc, be patient and encourage him to keep on the path of Allah and remind him of paradise.
* When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment.

15. Support in Obedience to Allah, Da'wah and Jihad

* Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and voluntary worships.
* Encourage him to pray in the middle of the night.
* Listen and reciting the Qur'an individually and with your husband.
* Listen to Islamic tapes and songs individually and with your husband.
* Remember Allah SWT much, particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib.
* Share in arranging Da'wah activities for women and children.
* Learn Islamic rules and good manners for women.
* Support your husband's activities by encouraging him, offering wise opinions, soothing his pains, etc.
* Yielding some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband for Da'wah.

16. Good Housekeeping

* Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged.
* Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom.
* Perfect of food and prepare healthy foods.
* Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing.
* Learn how to raise children properly and in an Islamic way.

17. Preservation of Finances and the Family

* Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he agrees on this.
* Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.
* Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc. Teach them Islam and tell them the stories of the Prophets and companions.

(Please make Du'a for the writer; Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed, for the translator brother Abu Talhah, and for the reviewer, brother Adam Qurashi. Remember this is not a perfect translation so forgive us our faults and correct our errors.)

(http://www.jannah.org/sisters/husbandhappy.html)

How to make your wife happy.

2009-01-08T13:09:00.001-05:00

1. Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you:

* Begin with a good greeting.
* Start with Assalamu'alaikum and a smile. Salam is a sunnah and a du'a for her as well.
* Shake her hand and leave bad news for later!

2. Sweet Speech and Enchanting Invitations

* Choose words that are positive and avoid negative ones.
* Give her your attention when she speaks.
* Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she understands.
* Call her with the nice names that she likes.

3. Friendliness and Recreation

* Spend time talking together.
* Spread to her goods news.
* Remember your good memories together.

4. Games and Distractions

* Joking around & having a sense of humor.
* Playing and competing with each other in sports or whatever.
* Taking her to watch permissible (halal) types of entertainment.
* Avoiding prohibited (haram) things in your choices of entertainment.

5. Assistance in the Household

* Doing what you as an individual can do that helps out,especially if she is sick or tired.
* The most important thing is making it obvious that you appreciate her hard work.

6. Consultation (Shura)

* Specifically in family matters.
* Make her feel that her opinion is important to you.
* Studying her opinion carefully.
* Be willing to change an opinion for hers if it is better.
* Thanking her for helping you with her opinions.

7. Visiting Others

* Choosing well-raised people to build relations with. There is a great reward in visiting relatives and pious people. (Not in wasting time while visiting!)
* Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners during visits.
* Not forcing her to visit whom she does not feel comfortable with.

8. Conduct During Travel

* Offer a warm farewell and good advice.
* Ask her to pray for you.
* Ask pious relatives and friends to take care of the family in your absence.
* Give her enough money for what she might need.
* Try to stay in touch with her whether by phone, e-mail, letters, etc.
* Return as soon as possible.
* Bring her a gift!
* Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night.
* Take her with you if possible.

9. Financial Support

* The husband needs to be generous within his financial capabilities. He should not be a miser with his money (nor wasteful).
* He gets rewards for all what he spends on her sustenance even for a small piece of bread that he feeds her by his hand (hadith).
* He is strongly encouraged to give before the wife starts asking for money.

10. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

* Following the Sunnah in removing hair from the groin and underarms.
* Always being clean and neat.
* Put on perfume for her.

11. Intercourse

* It is obligatory to do it habitually if you have no excuse (sickness, etc.)
* Start with "Bismillah" and the authentic du'a.
* Enter into her in the proper place only (not the anus).
* Begin with foreplay including words of love.
* Relax and joke around afterwards.
* Avoid intercourse during the monthly period because it is haram.
* Do what you can to avoid damaging her level of Hayaa (shyness and modesty) such as taking your clothes off together instead of asking her to do it first while you are looking on.

12. Guarding Privacy

* Avoid disclosing private information such as bedroom secrets, her personal problems and other private matters.

13. Aiding in the Obedience to Allah

* Wake her up in the last third of the night for qiyamullail.
* Teach her what you know of the Qur'an and its tafseer.
* Teach her "Zikr" (ways to remember Allah by the example of the prophet) in the morning and evening.
* Encourage her to spend money for the sake of Allah such as in a charity sale.
* Take her to Hajj and Umrah when you can afford to do so.

14. Showing Respect for her Family and Friends

* Take her to visit her family and relatives, especially her parents.
* Invite them to visit her and welcome them.
* Give them presents on special occasions.
* Help them when needed with money, effort, etc.
* Keep good relations with her family after her death if she dies first.

15. (Islamic) Training and admonition

This includes :

* The basics of Islam
* Her duties and rights
* Reading and writing
* Encouraging her to attend lessons and halaqahs
* Islamic rules related to women
* Buying Islamic books and tapes for the home library

16. Admirable Jealousy

* Ensure she is wearing proper hijab before leaving the house.
* Restrict free mixing with men.
* Avoiding excess jealousy. Examples of this are :

1- Analyzing every word and sentence she says and overloading her speech by meanings that she did not mean.

2- Preventing her from going out of the house when the reasons are just.

3- Preventing her from answering the phone.

17. Patience and Mildness

* Problems are expected in every marriage so this is normal. What is wrong is excessive responses and magnifying problems which causes marital breakdown.
* Anger should be shown when she exceeds the boundaries of Allah , by delaying prayers, backbiting, watching prohibited scenes on TV, etc.
* Forgive the mistakes she does to you.

18. Pardoning and Appropriate Censure

* Accounting her only for larger mistakes.
* Forgive mistakes done to him but account her for mistakes done in Allah's rights, e.g. delaying prayers, etc..
* Remember all the good she does whenever she makes a mistake.
* Remember that all humans err so try to find excuses for her such as maybe she is tired, sad, having her monthly cycle or that her commitment to Islam is growing.
* Avoid attacking her for the bad cooking of the food as the Prophet PBUH never blamed any of his wives for this. If he likes the food, he eats and if he doesn't then he does not eat and does not comment.
* Before declaring her to be in error, try other indirect approaches that are more subtle than direct accusations.
* Escape from using insults and words that may hurt her feelings.
* When it becomes necessary to discuss a problem wait until you have privacy from others.
* Waiting until the anger has subsided a bit can help to keep a control
on your words.

Envy is a dangerous heart disease.

2009-01-07T03:22:00.000-05:00

Envy is a nasty disease of the heart that leads to bad conduct and behavior, all of which are sins and evils. Bad. Very, very bad.

Envy leads to animosity, evil thinking about others' intentions, backbiting, spreading rumors, lying, turning back on each other, parting with bad terms, it may also lead the envious person to inflict physical damage with the envied person and even murder may Allah forbid. It is a bad seed for a terrible tree of diseases.

For this reason, the scholars consider it from among the most dangerous, destructive, inner diseases, and the most destructive for deen and worldly life. The Islamic ruling of envy is haram (prohibited); the degree of prohibition differs depending on the sins that result from it.

For this reason, the messenger of Allah (S.A.W.) forbade us in the authentic hadeeth that is reported by Imams Bukhari and Muslim, "Do not envy one another and do not hate one another, and do not turn your back on one another (in discontent) and be the servants of Allah like brothers."

Allah (S.W.T.) also ordered his prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) and all the believers to seek refuge from the evil of the envious person and envy, so He says in surat Al-Falaq, what can be translated as, "Say: 'I seek refuge with (Allah) the Lord of the day-break,' and at the end of the surah He then says, 'And from the evil of the envier when he envies.' "

The definition of Envy:

Envy means that you hate a blessing that Allah blessed someone with and like for it to go away, and if you could make it go away, you would do that.

And if you do not hate it and do not like for it to go away but you would like for yourself something similar to it, then this is a possessive desire that leads to competition; both of which are good and commendable.

Sometimes the word Envy is used to tell of the strong possessive desire as mentioned in an authentic hadeeth,
"It is not worth it, to envy anyone except in two cases. A man that Allah blessed with money and he spent it righteously, and a man that Allah blessed with knowledge and he implemented it in himself, and has taught it to others."

So, competition in the good avenues is commendable. Allah (S.W.T.), after He mentioned to us the paradise and its everlasting blessings, says in surat Al-Mutaffiffeen, (Verse 26), what can be translated as, "And in this, let the competitors compete."

An example of envy in a story from the Al-Quran :

One who reads the story of Prophet Yousuf (peace be upon him) and his brothers, realizes the danger of envy upon the envious person, and how it blinds his sight and takes away mercy from his heart, and drives him to inflict physical pain on the envied person. Allah (S.W.T.) says in surat Yousuf, (Verse 8 & 9), what can be translated as,

"When they said: Truly, Joseph and his brother are loved more by our father than we, but we are usbah (a strong group)." Then, they said, "Kill Joseph or cast him out to some other land, so that the favor of your father may be given to you alone, and after that you will be righteous folk." Then, how they deceived their fathers to take Yousuf and throw him in the well, then how they lied to their father that the wolf ate Yousuf, and to reinforce their deceit, they came with fake blood on Yousuf's shirt.

The medicine of envy:

Imam Al-Ghazali, may Allah have mercy on him, said in his book (Al-Ihya') after a number of pages on envy and its dangers, "Be aware that envy is one of the most dangerous diseases of the hearts, and there is no medicine for the diseases of the heart except with knowledge and deeds.

As to the knowledge that treats the disease of envy is to know without any doubt that envy is dangerous for you in this worldly life and in your deen, and there is no danger from it on the envied person in this life nor in his deen, on the contrary, the envied person will benefit from it.

The fact is envy is dangerous for your deen because with envy, you hated Allah's predestination and hated his blessings that He divided among his servants, and you hated His justice that He established in His world for a wisdom, so you contested that and objected it, and this is against the true oneness and belief. In addition to that, you would have shared with Iblees and the rest of the non-believers with their love for the crises to fall upon the believers and for the blessings to go away from them. These are evils in the heart that eat up the good deeds and erase them like the night erase the day.

And the fact that envy is dangerous upon your worldly life is that because you suffer from your envy in this life and you are tortured by it, and you will always be in sorrows every time you see the blessing of Allah (S.W.T.) on the envied person."

And as to the deeds that would treat envy, you should control yourself, so everything that you did in the process of your envy for someone else like any saying or action, you should now strive to do the opposite;
if envy had driven you to say something bad about your envied person, then strive to make your tongue complement him,
and if it had driven you to look down upon him, then act with humility and apologize to him,
and if it had driven you to stop doing good things for the envied person, you should push yourself to do good things for him.

Then, Imam Al-Ghazali said: "These are the medicines for envy, and they are very effective, but they are bitter on the hearts, but the effectiveness is in the bitter medicine, so whosoever cannot be patient with the bitterness of medicine cannot get the sweetness of the cure."

Source : www.Islam1.org

Reread the hadith which explains the only two situations which we are supposed to be very green with envy of.

1. A man that Allah has blessed with money, and he spent it righteously.

2. A man that Allah has blessed with knowledge, and he implemented it in himself, and has taught it to others.

"Do not despair of God's mercy; HE will forgive you of all your sins."

2008-12-25T11:56:00.000-05:00

"I want to repent, but will God forgive me?"

"I want to repent, but how?"

"I want to repent, but I know I will do it again.."

"I want to repent, but... but....."

*******

"And HE wishes to forgive you.."
Al-Qur'an (4:146)

Islam fully understands the temptations that come in the way of everyone of us, and that which some of us might go for. Only through repentance, that one can wipe out those sins and past misdeeds and gradually get freed from the clutches of the ego.

The word TAWBAH which is rendered as repentance in English, is not a simple term as most people believe. It is very rich in meaning and implication, and is not simply a word of mouth after which the sinner continues in his sins.

Says Allah, Glorified be He: "Seek forgiveness of your Lord and then turn to Him in repentance." (Hud: 3).

Do you notice how turning to the Lord in repentance has been added to the search for His forgiveness?

It is quite in keeping with its importance, therefore, that repentance should have, as the scholars have stated, conditions attached to it for its acceptance.

First : Giving up of the sin itself.

Second : Remorse over what has been committed.

Third : A resolve not to repeat it.

Fourth : Compensating those who have been wronged or obtaining their forgiveness.

Scholars have also mentioned some other conditions such as the following that are presented with some examples.

First, the giving up of the sin should be for the sake Allah alone, and not for any other reason such as fear of the people, inability to commit it, and so forth.

He, for instance, who gives up a sin because it affects his position in the society adversely, or because it harm s him in his profession, is not a repenter.

Nor is he who gave up for sake of his health such as he who gave up adultery from the fear of contagious diseases, or because it weakens his body or mind.

Nor is he the repenter who gave up theft because the house was locked or he could not open the safe, or yet because he was afraid of the guards or the police.

Neither is he a repenter who did not accept bribes because he feared the man offering it could be an informer.

Nor is he a repenter who gave up wine or drugs because he had no money to buy.

Second, the repenting man should additionally feel the regret in his heart and ill effects on his soul. That is, true repentance does not allow for taking pleasure from past sins, or desire to repeat the sin.

Third, a sinner should hasten to repent, for procrastination in this affair is itself a sin that requires repentance.

Fourth, feeling of the loss of what was lost in the past while the sinner was engaged in his sins.

For instance the non-payment of zakat in which were the dues of the poor (and for the payment of which means were then available).

Fifth, that the sinner should move away from the place where the sin was committed. For if he remains there the chances of him falling into the same sin exist.

Sixth, the sinner should abandon the company of those that helped him in the sin.

Says Allah: "Friends that day will be enemy unto each other - save for the god-fearing." (Al-Zukhruf: 67).

These bad companions will be cursing each other on the day of Reckoning.

You should, therefore, dear repenting man/lady, avoid these even now, keeping a safe distance from them. For if you keep yourself in close range of them you will fall prey to Satan again and succumb to their temptations, especially when you know that you do suffer some weaknesses. There are many instances of people going back to sins because they failed to abandon bad company.

Seventh, destruction of those things and articles that help in committing sins such as, for instance, wine, musical instruments, pictures, films, erotic literature and so on. These should be burned, broken, or destroyed as the case may be.

This abandoning of all previous trappings at the threshold of repentance and perseverance is of extreme importance. And how often it has not been that the mere presence of these means of evil have tempted the owners back into the old sins after they had repented.

Eighth, he should now, in place of the bad companions, select those virtuous ones that will support him in his new resolve.

He should begin to attend those assemblies where Allah is remembered much, and from where knowledge is disseminated.

He should also fill in his vacant hours with useful activities in order not to allow Satan to wend his way and remind him of the past.

Ninth, rebuild his body - that had been fed with the "unlawful" so far - by feeding it with the "lawful" alone.

Tenth, let him repent before the signs of death appear, and before the signs of the Last Hour arrive - such as the rising of the sun from the West for Rasulullah 'alaihissalatu wassalam says a hadith:

"Allah will accept the repentance of him who repented; before the gurgling of the throat." (meaning the last breath).

And in another hadith :

"Allah will accept the repentance of him who repented before the appearance of the sun from the West."

- Indeed, Allah and The Prophet love us. -

Source : themodernreligion.com

Wife's Emotional Rights

2008-11-23T14:59:00.000-05:00

Question :

I got married to a man who is more than 20 years older than I am. Nevertheless, I would have never seen the difference in age as a barrier that separates me from him or turn me away from him, had he shown me a cheerful face and a good tongue and love. Alas, he has deprived me of the cheerful face, sweet word, and the active emotion that makes a woman feel her femininity and her place in the heart of her husband.

He is not mean when it comes to my clothing and expenditure, nor does he hurt me. But this is not everything a woman needs from her husband. I do not think I mean anything to him other than a chef or a unit of pleasure whenever he wills. This makes me feel bored and hate my life, especially when I see my friends and peers whose husbands are filling their lives with love and euphoria.

Once I complained to him against this treatment and he said, "Do you think I do not fulfill my duties towards you? Am I mean regarding your expenditure and clothing?"

For husbands and wives to know, I raise the following question: Are the financial needs in terms of food, clothing, and accommodation the only Islamic duties that the husband owes his wife? Is the psychological aspect valueless in the Islamic view? According to my limited knowledge and by nature, I do not think so. Please elaborate on this issue since it dramatically affects the continuity and happiness of the Muslim family.

Answer :

Marriage in Islam has noble objectives that far exceed the material objectives. Though marriage aims at meeting innate sexual desires in a pure and sound way, it also aims at building a strong family on the basis of love, mutual understanding, respect, etc. Spouses are asked to care for each other's emotional and psychological needs.

In response to your question, the European Council for Fatwa and Research issued the following fatwa:

This sister with her sound nature and limited knowledge realized the correct opinion that Islam states.

According to the Islamic Shari'ah, the husband is obliged to provide his wife with her financial needs — e.g., expenditure, clothing, accommodation, medication, etc. — in a way suitable to his circumstances and hers, or as the Qur'an states, [In a reasonable way] (Al-Baqarah 2:228).

The Shari'ah does not neglect the psychological aspects that people cannot do without. Moreover the Qur'an describes marriage as one of Allah's signs and one of His graces on people. Allah says [And among His signs is this, that He has created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily, in that are signs for those who reflect] (Ar-Rum 30:21).

This verse specifies the aims of marital life or its components as tranquility, love, and mercy between the wife and the husband; these are psychological, not material, components. Hence, marital life is meaningless when these components are absent, when it turns into bodily closure and emotional separation.

On this basis, many good husbands are wrong when they think that the duties they owe their wives are naught but expenditure, clothing and accommodation neglecting that as the woman needs food, clothing and other material needs, she needs, and needs more, the good word, the wide smile, the tender touch, the entertaining kiss, loving treatment and flirtations that remove life burdens and achieve happiness.

Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) set the highest example in this regard. In spite of his huge burdens of da'wah, establishing the rules of Islam, educating the Muslims, establishing the Muslim state and protecting it against its enemies, in addition to his love for his Lord and eagerness to perform continual worship — fasting, reciting the Qur'an, performing night prayer until his feet swelled, and crying until his beard was wet; in spite of all this he (peace and blessings be upon him) never neglected his wives' rights.

His spiritual aspects never drove him to neglect the needs of their human feelings that could not be satisfied with food and clothing.

Imam Ibn Al-Qayim described the Prophet's attitude towards his wives:

Prophet Muhammad's life with his wives was founded on good company and good ethics. He (peace and blessings be upon him) used to send girls from the Ansar to play with his wife A'ishah. Whenever she asked for something permissible he agreed. When she drank from a cup he would take it and put his lips on the same place she put her lips and drink, and when she ate meat he would take the bones and put his mouth on the place of hers and eat. He (peace and blessings be upon him) used to put his head on her lap and recite Qur'an when she had her monthly period. He (peace and blessings be upon him) used to kiss her while he was fasting. Out of his morals, he would let her to play and he let her watch over his shoulder when the Abyssinians were playing in the mosque. He (peace and blessings be upon him) raced her twice. He used to say "The best among you is the best to his wife and I am the best to my wives." When he prayed 'Asr he used to pass by his wives and be informed of their affairs, and when night came he would go to the one whose turn it was. A'ishah said, 'He never stayed with any of us more than the others, and it rarely happened that he did not visit all of us and come closer to each of us without touching until he reached the one who had the turn so he would stay overnight with her.'

When we consider this piece of the Prophet's biography regarding the way he treated his wives, we can see clearly that he looked after them all, visited them all, and drew nigh to them all. But he used to pay more attention to A'ishah and that was not for nothing or bias, but rather due to her young age and virginity (at marriage). He (peace and blessings be upon him) married her when she was a virgin, and he was her first and last husband. Such a woman would need more from her husband than an old woman. Her need is not the mere need for expenditure and clothing or even sexual intercourse, but rather the psychological aspects of the feelings which are deeper and of greater importance. It is not strange to see Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) having great interest in the psychological aspects, even though he was overwhelmed with a wide range of burdens in terms of da'wah and establishing the Muslim nation and state. Allah says [Indeed, in the Messenger of Allah you have a good example to follow](Al-Ahzam 33:21).

(www.islamonline.net)

♥ ♥ ♥

Your footsteps we strive to follow,
Your example turns our hearts mellow.

Salluu 'alannabiy..

My love for You.

2008-11-11T11:49:00.000-05:00

The famous Sufi woman, Rabi'ah al-Adawiyyah said:

"My God, If I worshipped you out of fear of the fire, then burn me with the fire
of hell; and if I worshipped you out of desire for paradise, then deprive me of
it; but if I worshipped you for your love; then don't deprive me, my God, of
your eternal beauty".

She also said:

"I did not worship Him fearing His fire and desiring His paradise, then I would
be like a bad hired hand; but I worshipped Him out of love and yearning for
Him".

Baby, it's all good!

2008-11-03T04:14:00.000-05:00

A modern hijab poem

(Author unknown)

What do you see when you look at me
Do you see someone limited, or someone free
All some people can do is just look and stare
Simply because they can't see my hair
Others think I am controlled and uneducated
They think that I am limited and un-liberated
They are so thankful that they are not me
Because they would like to remain 'free'

Well free isn't exactly the word I would've used
Describing women who are cheated on and abused
They think that I do not have opinions or voice
They think that being hooded isn't my choice
They think that the hood makes me look caged
That my husband or dad are totally outraged
All they can do is look at me in fear
And in my eye there is a tear

Not because I have been stared at or made fun of
But because people are ignoring the One up above
On the day of judgment they will be the fools
Because they were too ashamed to play by their own rules
Maybe the guys won't think I am a cutie
But at least I am filled with more inner beauty
See I have declined from being a guy's toy
Because I won't let myself be controlled by a boy

Real men are able to appreciate my mind
And aren't busy looking at my behind
Hooded girls are the ones really helping the Muslim cause
The role that we play definitely deserves applause
I will be recognized because I am smart and bright
And because some people are inspired by my sight
The smart ones are attracted by my tranquility
In the back of their mind they wish they were

We have the strength to do what we think is right
Even if it means putting up a life long fight
You see we are not controlled by a mini skirt and tight shirt
We are given only respect, and never treated like dirt
So you see, we are the ones that are free and liberated
We are not the ones that are sexually terrorized and violated
We are the ones that are free and pure
We're free of STD's that have no cure

So when people ask you how you feel about the hood
Just sum it up by saying, 'Baby, its all good'

Problems...

2008-10-24T12:36:00.001-04:00

The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you - depending on how you respond to them. Unfortunately, most people fail to see how Allah wants to use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems - rather than pausing to consider what benefits they might bring.

Here are five ways Allah wants to use the problems in your life:

1. Allah uses problems to DIRECT you.
Sometimes Allah must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change. Is Allah trying to get your attention? Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways.

2. Allah uses problems to INSPECT you.
People are like tea bags... if you want to know what's inside them, just drop them into hot water! Has Allah tested your faith with a problem. What do problems reveal about you? When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience.

3. Allah uses problems to CORRECT you.
Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It's likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something...health, money, a relationship... by losing it.

4. Allah uses problems to PROTECT you.
A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem - but it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when management's actions were eventually discovered.

5. Allah uses problems to PERFECT you.
Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. Allah is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Your relationship to Allah and your character are the only two things you're going to take with you into eternity. We can rejoice when we run into problems... they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust Allah more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady.

Here's the point:
Allah is at work in your life - even when you do not recognize it or understand it!

Why do our prayers go unanswered?

2008-10-24T10:01:00.000-04:00

And our Lord says,

"Call upon Me and I will answer your prayer."

And yet we supplicate and we are not answered.

Why?

Because...

We know Allah, yet we do not obey Him.

We recite the Qur'an, yet we do not act according to it.

We know Shaitan, yet we have agreed with him.

We proclaim that we love the Messenger of Allah, yet we abandon His Sunnah.

We proclaim our love for Paradise, yet we do not act to gain it.

We proclaim our fear for the Fire, yet we do not prevent ourselves from sins.

We say "Indeed death is true", yet we have not prepared for it.

We engage ourselves with finding faults with others, yet we do not look at our faults.

We eat of that which Allah has provided for us, yet you do not thank Him.

We bury our dead, yet we do not take a lesson from it.

. . . . .

How to be closer to Allah. (The Afterword)

2008-09-07T17:44:00.001-04:00

May the Eternal Truth wake you from the slumber of heedlessness. May He make you aware of the origin, to which we will all return and in which we will all remain for the rest of eternity.

May the Divine Seer of all and everything open your inner eye, so that you can see and remember what you have done and said all through your life in this temporal realm of experiments. Then you will know and always remember that you must account for it all and that you will be judged on the day of final judgment.

Do not leave your accounting to the Day of Reckoning. This is the place and the time to do it. See yourself. Close your accounts. The only way to salvation is to go into the Beyond clean and clear of debts. Give heed to the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) who said, "Make your accounting before it is made for you, weigh your sins before they are weighed for you."

Examine your life; weigh your transgressions against your good deeds.

Do it while you still have time in this world of numbered breaths, while you can, before you are left alone in that dark hole in the ground.

While you are alive, your worldly self is like a collector of benefits from Allah's bounties, which come to you from myriads of hands.

What you receive is not really yours; you are like a cashier who distributes what he has received, and you are responsible for the accounting of it.

If you do not do this today, be sure that tomorrow on the burning Day of Reckoning you will scream and ask for help. No one will come to your aid. You will hear the divine voice coming from the center of all divine orders, the voice of the Absolute Punisher who punishes the guilty, reducing them to nothing.

Hasn't the Lord sent you messengers; hasn't He shown you the right way; hasn't He ordered you to remember Him and praise Him day and night? Hasn't He given you time within the day and within the night to follow His orders?

If you wait until the last minute, you will receive no good from your regret. If you insist on waiting and delay the accounting of yourself, know that all doors and windows will be closed to you and you will be left outside.

If this is the case, know that there is no other door, no other place in which to seek refuge. There is no place to go - for you or for anyone or anything in the creation - except Allah's door of mercy. Go and kneel at its sill. Shed tears of repentance and beg for entrance. Try and see what is behind the curtains.

There are three dangers which may keep you from examining yourself making the accounting of your acts, and being thankful to your generous Lord.

The first of these dangers is unconsciousness, heedlessness.

The second is the flood of tastes and desires that gush from your ego, your lower self.

The third is bad habits, in fact all habits, which make one like a machine.

The one who can protect himself against these three dangers, with Allah's help, will find salvation in both worlds.

Blessings be upon our master Muhammad and his progeny and his companions - in all tongues, in all places, and at all levels.

The End.

How to be closer to Allah... (The Final Part)

2008-09-02T18:29:00.001-04:00

Someone who chooses this temporal world over the true good of the eternal Hereafter will never reach his goal, either here or there. For the ambition of one who is ambitious for this world will never be satisfied.

Don't you see that the Maker of Destiny decides your lot in this world, and that you receive neither more nor less than what you are destined to receive? Whether you care or not, what Allah has set forth does not change. Whether we want more or not, we can only attain that which is reflected in the mirror of our destiny.

The desires of this world are like sea water. The more you drink of them, the more you thirst.

The Messenger of Allah likened this world to a garbage heap in order to tell you to keep your distance from it.

Be satisfied with the portion of it that Allah has included in your fate. Whether you like it or not, that will be your lot.

Allah advised and warned the prophet Moses (peace be upon him),

"O son of Adam, if you are satisfied with what I have apportioned to you, I will set your heart at rest and you are worthy of praise. But if you are not satisfied with what I have apportioned to you, I will grant the world power over you. You will race in it as a wild beast races in the desert. And by My power and majesty, you will not receive from it anything but what I have apportioned to you, and you will be worthy of blame!"

This means that man will attain peace of heart and the level of Allah's praise and grace if he accepts and is content with his lot in accordance with Allah's divine apportionment.

On the other hand, if you do not accept the lot that is your fate, Allah will render the world, which you so desire, your enemy. The world will become like a desert to a hungry animal. You will run and run and tire yourself without being able to find anything in it. Allah vows for the world-bound that no matter how they run after the world, they will receive nothing more than their lot The only things they will receive beyond that are fatigue, dissatisfaction, and disgrace.

Let us suppose that Allah has bestowed upon you all the goods of this world, all the material properties of which you may conceive - how much can you use besides the food and drink your stomach can take, the clothing that will cover your body, and a place to live? The humble of this world have no less, yet they are much better off. For they are at peace, without worry, in this world; and certainly in the hereafter they have less to account for.

Do not exchange your spiritual peace and the possibility of eternal bliss for the temporal, decaying goods of this world. No matter how grand and secure they look, they will die when you die. Death may come in your next step upon this earth, and all your dreams of this world will evaporate.

As the world-bound are sons of this world, there are also people bound for the hereafter, sons of the hereafter. As the Messenger of Allah advised,

"Be sons of the hereafter, bound for eternity, not temporal sons of the earth who will return to the earth."

Read these words of your Lord and abide by them :

"Whoever desires this world's life and its finery, We repay them their deeds therein and they are not made to suffer loss in it. These are they for whom there is nothing but fire in the hereafter. And what they work therein is fruitless, and their deeds are vain." (Hud, 15-16)

"Whoso desires the harvest of the hereafter we give him increase in his harvest, and whoso desires the harvest of this world, We give him thereof, and he has no portion in the hereafter." (Shura, 20)

Next : The Afterword.

How to be closer to Allah... (Part 6)

2008-08-27T19:53:00.001-04:00

Be chaste; chastity is to be cautious, to try to abstain from all that is unclean and sinful. It is protecting yourself from all that is doubtful and suspicious in and around you.

When the Messenger of Allah said: "Leave that which is doubtful and reach for that which is sure,"
he was speaking of the necessity of abandoning things that render you doubtful and hesitant, that create uncertainty, suspense, and fear in your heart - and of turning towards things that render you secure and peaceful.

It falls upon you to examine each act, each word, each act of worship, each relation with others such as friendship or marriage.

You must find whether each thing is good or bad, clean or unclean, right or wrong-in other words, lawful or unlawful. In some cases it is clear; then you must choose the right over the wrong. In some cases it is doubtful; then you must leave it as if it were wrong and seek that which is sure.

Follow the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) : Even if you feel in need of that which is doubtful, even if you are unable to get anything else, do not take it. Leave it for the sake of Allah. This is chastity.

Be sure that Allah will reward the chaste with abundant goods much better than the doubtful thing that was abandoned. But do not expect your reward immediately.

Chastity is the foundation of religion and the path to truth. If you are chaste, all your deeds will be pure and sincere; all you do will end well; you will be in harmony with the divine order.

You will be the recipient of divine generosity; all will turn to you.

You will be under divine protection.

If you are chaste and pious, avoiding the wrong and the doubtful, there is no doubt that you will receive all these blessings. But if you turn your back to chastity and piety, the Absolute Judge will place you in a shameful state - helpless, terrified. He will leave you by yourself in the hands of your ego. Then you will be a toy for the devil, who will find no resistance, no opposition to his tempting you, to his taking you away from truth.

Spend all your effort to stay on the path of piety, and may Allah help you.

This world is a place of preparation where one is given many lessons and poses many tests.

Choose less over more in it.

Be satisfied with what you have, even if it is less than what others have.

In fact, prefer to have less.

This world is not bad - on the contrary, it is the field of the hereafter. What you plant here, you will reap there. This world is the way to eternal bliss and so is good - worthy to be cherished and to be praised.

What is bad is what you do with the world when you become blind to truth and totally consumed by your desires, lust, and ambition for it.

Our master the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), in whom wisdom was as clear a crystal, was asked, "What is worldliness?"

He answered,

"Everything that makes you heedless and causes you to forget your Lord."

Therefore the goods of this world are not harmful in themselves, but only when you let them render you forgetful, disobedient, and unaware of the Lord who has generously offered them to you. It is your sense of the world, your relationship to it, your preference of it over the One who gave it to you, that makes you insensitive and causes you to break your connection with divine truth.

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

"Whoever prefers the world over the Hereafter is made to suffer three things: an unbearable load that is never lightened; a poverty that never becomes richer, and an ambition, a hunger, that is never satisfied."

Therefore the one who lives for this world alone is bound to bear its pains and difficulties - trying to resolve its problems by himself, being totally dependent on it like a beggar, trying to obtain the needs of his flesh and his ego from it. That flesh, that ego whose appetite never knows satiation, whose ambitions are endless, is always wanting, always hungry, always dissatisfied. These are the rewards of the world to those who make the world their lord, forgetting the Lord of all the Universes.

This does not mean that you should abandon the world, not do your duties in it or participate in its affairs - retiring to a corner, making no effort, doing no work.

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) says,

"Allah likes to see the believer working at his profession."

"Indeed Allah likes the one who has a craft."

"The one who earns his sustenance lawfully through his efforts is beloved of Allah."

These sayings mean that Allah's beneficence encompasses all who work hard in a craft or business in this world. It is for this reason that all the prophets worked for their sustenance.

It is related that one day Sayyiduna 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) met a group of people who were sitting around lazily doing nothing. He asked them who they were. "We are of those who put their affairs in the hands of Allah, and we trust in Him," they replied.

"Indeed you do not!" he angrily responded. "You are nothing but freeloaders, parasites upon other people's efforts! For someone who truly trusts in Allah first plants the seed in the belly of this earth, then hopes and expects and puts his affairs in the hand of the Sustainer!"

Thus to leave the worldly and the world does not mean not to do your duties in it.

Perhaps what is meant by being worldly is giving yourself up solely to gathering the world's benefits. The worldly person identifies with what he has gathered and is proud of it. Full of ambition, he devotes himself to amassing the goods of this world without any consideration of whether they are lawful or unlawful, his rightful portion or the portion of others. Worse still is not to see any wrong in all this, to think that it is the right way, the only way.

When the love of the world fills your heart totally, it leaves no space for the remembrance of Allah. Forgetting the hereafter, you prefer this temporal world.

All that you need from the world is something lawful to satisfy your hunger, something with which to cover yourself, and a roof over your head.

Let these be the only things you ask from this world, nothing more.

Don't be envious of the apparent temporal abundance the world-bound seem to enjoy, nor wish for the riches they have gathered without any consideration of right or wrong, of lawful or unlawful.

How long does one stay in this world?

How long?

To be continued...

How to be closer to Allah. (Part 5)

2008-08-22T13:06:00.002-04:00

Open your heart in order to receive divine benevolence. A benevolent heart becomes the mirror in which Allah's favors are manifest. When the divine favors manifest and come through you, when you feel His presence, you will feel shame at your improper actions. This will cause both you and others to have conscience. Thus your benevolence will protect you and others from sin.

When the archangel Gabriel asked our master the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), "What is divine benevolence?" The Last of the Prophets answered,

"To pray and glorify Allah as if you are in His presence, as if you see Him."

Reverence reflects in the heart of a believer who has reached the level of praying as if he sees Allah.

Then our master the Prophet continued,

"For if you are unable to see Him, He certainly sees you."

The one who has reached that level of realization of divine benevolence will have conscience. He will feel that gaze of Allah upon him and will be ashamed to sin.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

"Conscience is total good."

If a believer has conscience, he is aware of what he is doing and he cannot do wrong. Men at heart is filled with conscience, the possessor of that heart encounters no harm either in this world or in the Hereafter. The sign of a man with conscience is his lack of arrogance and self-importance. He never oppresses or tries to dominate others. May you also reach the level of benevolence and have conscience, and may you have the strength and foresight to try to attain it.

Wake before sunrise, remember Allah, and repent. When repentance follows sin, it erases it. The sin disappears as if it never happened. When repentance follows a benevolent action or prayer, it is like light upon light, grace upon grace. To remember Allah and to praise Him unifies the heart when it is scattered all around - like a mirror broken into a thousand pieces - and mends it, makes it into one, and turns it towards the One. Then all trouble leaves the heart, and it is filled with the joy of the One whom it remembers.

When your heart is filled to the brim with remembrance, then read the Holy Qur'an.

When you read, reflect upon the meaning of what you have read.

When verses remind you of His oneness and of His being without likeness and free from all defect, praise Him.

When you read verses describing His blessings, bounties, generosity, and love or His wrath and punishment, take refuge from Him in Him and beg for His mercy.

When you hear the parables about past prophets and their people, take heed and draw lessons from what happened to them.

There are infinite meanings within the verses of the Holy Qur'an, within every word - changing with your states and levels, knowledge and understanding. Therefore you cannot possibly be tired, weary, or bored in reading them.

Try to undo the knots of your persistence in sinning. Knot over knot ties you up. How are you going to save yourself? You will need the help of the one who tied those knots, your own self. Talk to it, reason with it.

Tell it:

"O temporal flesh, you resent listening to reason, but listen. Are you sure, as you inhale, that this is not your last breath? Allah knows best, but the next breath may be your last in this world to which you are so attached. Death will seize you by the throat; yet you persist in piling wrong upon wrong, sin upon sin. The Ultimate Judge warns the ones who persist in sinning with such punishment that mountains of rock cannot bear it. How then can you, flimsy as a straw, imagine that you could bear such horrible torments? Do not turn your back on me One who created you. Face Him and repent. Do it now, without delay, for you do not know when death will break you in two."

And repentance is not for those who go on doing evil deeds, until when death comes to one of them he says, "Now I repent ...... (Nisa', 17)

Say to the self:

"Indeed, after the aura of death has rendered you prostrate and life is fading away, if you can remember at all and repent, that repentance will not be accepted by Allah. The Prophet whom He sent as a mercy upon the universe said that though Allah accepts your repentance until the time when your breath is being choked out of you, at the moment of your death throes it is too late. Death comes without warning - to some while eating, to some while drinking, to others while sleeping with their wives, to others in deep sleep from which they do not awake. Whoever, before that, has not turned from falsehood to truth, has not repented but persists in sinning, will fall into the abyss of death."

Talk this way to your self. Try to discipline and educate the desires of your flesh. As they are persistent in sinning, be persistent in convincing them to stop sinning.

If you keep warning your lower self, with the help of Allah the knots binding your heart will be untied.

That is the only way to be saved.

Fear Allah both in your actions and deep in - your heart and thoughts.

Fear of Allah is the fear of Allah's punishment. Whoever truly fears the warnings of torment of the Absolute Judge cannot but act in accordance with the pleasure of the Creator and seek the right over the wrong.

The fear of Allah is a protection, the thing that guards you from harm.

Allah's protection is the strongest of all armor, of all fortifications; no harm can penetrate it. That is what divine fear secures for you. The Prophet of Allah, whom He sent as His mercy upon the universe, himself took refuge in his lord. Praying to Him, he said, "I take refuge in Your pleasure, in Your beauty, in Your gentleness, from Your wrath and Your strength. I take refuge in Your divine mercy and compassion, from your punishment. I take refuge in You from You."

Seek, learn about, and imitate the beneficent acts of your Creator that manifest all around you. Protect yourself against divine wrath with acts and deeds in accordance with Allah's pleasure. Whatever act, whatever thing, whatever path is under the shadow of doubt and fear, do not come close to it.

Leave it.

Know that knowing your Creator and obeying Him is the only path that will lead you to peace and felicity. Revolt and selfishness are a dead end.

Only by gaining the divine consent can you save yourself from your Lord's wrath.

Only by entering the straight path can you get out of the abyss of that dead end.

Only by actions proper to paradise can you keep away from the fire.

To be continued...

How to be closer to Allah... (Part 4)

2008-08-17T12:51:00.001-04:00

Teach Allah's words in His divine book and the good behavior of Islam to your children. Secure for them conditions in which they can exercise what you have taught them. Do this without expecting any return from them.

From the very beginning, teach them to bear difficulty, to have patience, to think.

Do not place in their hearts the love of the world. Teach them to dislike the things of this world that will render them proud - luxuries, beautiful clothes, delicacies, excess of ambition - because all these, if obtained, will be subtracted from the good due them in the hereafter. Let them not get accustomed to good things; break their habits. Beware that this, which may seem austere, should not bring forth in you the ugly character of miserliness towards your children. Do it in respect and attachment to your religion.

Do not seek to be close to the heedless, to the ones who are slaves to the desires of their flesh. They take hearts away from the light of truth and throw them into the dark hole of heedlessness, as they did with their own hearts.

If you are placed with them in the same time and space, then face them and advise them. If they turn their backs on you, it is because they do not know their fronts from their backs. Do not stab them in the back. Be the same way to them whether they turn their faces to you or their backs. Then they may like and respect you and perchance they may be attached to you and follow you.

Do not be satisfied with your spiritual state; advance. Advance ceaselessly, without interruption. With firm intention pray to Allah, the Ultimate Truth, to bring you from the state in which you are to a state beyond it.

In every state, in every move, while doing a thing or while being inactive, be sincere and truthful. Be with the Ultimate Truth. Do not ever forget Him. Feel His presence always.

Learn to give, whether you have plenty or little, whether you are happy or in pain. This is a proof of your faith in Allah. Try to satisfy the needs of the needy. This is an affirmation that Allah has assigned everyone's sustenance and nothing will change it. This is a proof of your trusting in Allah.

A miser is a coward. The accursed Devil whispers in his ear that there is no death, that he will live a long time; that the world is hostile; that if he gives he will be left destitute, dishonored, and alone; that he should not be fooled by the plenty that he now has, for no one knows what will happen tomorrow.

Worse still, if the miser has little, the devil tells him that soon he will have even less. No one will help him; he will be a load on others and will be detested. He has to look after himself. If these evil imaginations capture the heart one may be led to he edge of hellfire. On the other hand, the ones who give their ears to Allah hear His blessed words. Allah says in the Holy Qur'an:

"...and whoever is saved from the miserliness of his ego, these it is that find salvation." (Hashr, 9)

"...whoever is miserly is miserly to himself." (Muhammad, 38)

The ones who are cursed with stinginess do not listen to the words of Allah's messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), who says,

"Allah has two angels next to Him who pray every morning, 'O Lord, increase Your bounties upon the ones who give, and take away what they have from the ones who keep it!"

Therefore, spend from what Allah has given you. Do not fear poverty. Allah will give you what He has promised, whether you or everyone asks for it or does not ask for it.

No one who has been generous has ever perished in destitution.

If you wish to find the truth and have Allah's pleasure and support in it, then avoid being negative and control your temper and anger. If you cannot stop anger, at least do not show it. When you do this, you will please Allah and disappoint the devil. You will begin to educate your ego and straighten and shorten your path.

Anger is a result and a sign of the ego not being under control, like a mean wild animal untied and uncaged. As you hold your temper, it is as if you put a bridle on its head and barriers around it. You begin then to tame it, teach it how to behave, to obey, so that it cannot hurt others or itself (because it is a part of you).

When this discipline reflects from you, revealing someone who can control his temper and hold his anger, your adversary will be calmed. You will not be reacting to his provocations. You will not be punishing him or responding to his negativity, but ignoring it. This is more effective than punishing him. He may be led to see the reality of his acts, to realize what is fair, and to confess his faults.

Give heed to this advice and make it a habit. If you do, you certainly will see the positive result and the rewards here and in the hereafter.

You will be the winner on the day when your deeds will be weighed.

That is the greatest reward and the greatest grace that you will receive. For if you hold your temper, the All Just will also hold back His punishment for your sins, which are punishable by His divine wrath. Your forgiving will be rewarded by His forgiving you. What better benefit may one expect for effort in bearing hardship caused by your brothers and sisters in faith?

Allah will treat you the way He has ordered you to treat others. So try to assume the good qualities of being just, peaceful, helpful, gentle, and loving. Persist in these qualities; act with them. You will see that this character will spread from you to others around you, creating harmony, mutual love, and respect.

The Beloved of Allah, our master the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), orders us to love each other, to be in a continuous loving state. He repeats this in so many ways, in so many statements. To leave anger, to replace it with bearing hardship, with forgiving, with caring for the one who causes the hardship, is one of the cornerstones of the foundation of love.

To be continued...

How to be closer to Allah. (Part 3)

2008-08-13T12:16:00.001-04:00

Cleanliness is an order of Allah. Keep your body and your inner self clean at all times. Whenever you make an ablution make two cycles of prayer following it, except when you have to make an ablution at times when praying is not permitted: at sunrise, at high noon, and at sunset. Friday is an exception to that rule; it is permissible then to pray at high noon.

Above all, what you need is high morals, good character, proper behavior; you must identify your bad features and rid yourself of them. Your relationship to whomever you come into contact with must be based on the best of conduct - but what this means may vary with conditions and circumstances.

Whoever neglects a single item of good behavior is considered to have bad character. Men are created different from each other. Their levels are different. Good behavior and character are also in different levels.

Behavior is not a form. It is not to act in the same way on every occasion towards everyone. You have to consider each case, each person, in accordance with the circumstance and the need of the person.

A good rule to remember is that if a thing is done to bring salvation, truth, comfort, and peace to others, to oneself, and to as many people as possible, protecting them, eliminating pain and hardship, it is good behavior - on condition that it is not done for personal benefit, but for Allah's sake.

Is not man the servant of Allah? Are not his life and his deeds dependent on divine predestination? He is in a frame whose limits he, cannot leave. His will, his freedom of choice, his destiny written on his forehead, are in the hand of the All-Powerful upon whom all acts, all moves depend.

Proper behavior is the means by which an intention becomes a good deed. Therefore it is the greatest capital in the hand of the seeker. The proof is the word of the one who was brought with the most beautiful character, the last prophet, Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), who said,

"I have been sent to perfect good behavior."

The religious law says that you may choose to demand your right or you may choose to leave it. Choose to leave that which is due to you and forgive, instead of punishing, so that you will be counted among the compassionate, the peaceful, the righteous, whose rewards are promised by Allah.

It is best to separate yourself from people who do not believe in what you believe, who do not do what you do, and who are against your faith. Yet at the same time you should not think badly of them or condemn them for what they are. Your intention in ignoring them should be that you prefer the company of believers. Spend your time in remembering, glorifying, and worshipping Allah instead of being with them.

Treat well those who are dependent upon you: the people who work for you, your children, your wives and husbands, your mothers, sisters, and friends, the animals in your care, the plants in your garden.

Allah has given them into your hands to test you. You are in His care. Treat the ones in your care as you want the One in whose care you are to treat you.

The Messenger of Allah says,

"All of creation are Allah's dependents."

His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) says that the one who is best loved by Him is the one who is best towards his dependents.

Show love, compassion, delicacy, generosity, and protection towards those who depend on you - and in fact, to everyone. If you wish His compassion and protection, remember that you yourself depend on the One, the lord and owner of all and everything...

To be continued...

How to be closer to Allah. (Part 2)

2008-08-11T06:02:00.001-04:00

After you perform your morning prayer, stay with your Lord until sunrise, and after your afternoon prayer stay in His presence until sunset. These are two periods of time when spiritual powers and enlightenment flow in abundance. Keep your heart tied to Allah in humility and in peace.

There is great virtue and merit in performing extra worship of twenty cycles of prayer between the afternoon and evening prayers, and between the evening and night prayers. Perform extra prayers of four cycles just before the noon prayer, after and just before the afternoon prayer, and after the evening prayer. Perform another ten cycles of prayers in sets of two after the obligatory night prayer, and the three cycles of closing prayer, witr, as the last worship of the day.

Do not sleep until you are unable to stay awake.

Do not eat until you are hungry.

Dress only to cover your body and to protect it from cold and from heat.

Make it a habit to read from the Holy Qur'an every day. When you read, hold the holy book with respect. Keep it in your left hand at the level of your chest, and move your right hand along the words you read. Read aloud, but just loud enough that you can hear your own voice.

Read without haste, slowly thinking of the meaning of each word. Wish for divine mercy and beneficence when you come to the verses that inspire His mercy. Take warning from the verses of admonition, and when reading them, promise your Lord your determination to act upon His command, repenting, taking refuge in His mercy, seeking salvation.

When you read verses describing the praiseworthy qualities of the truly faithful, think of your own qualities. Be thankful and praise Him for your good qualities, and feel shame for the qualities missing in you, so may you may hope to find the character of the faithful in yourself.

And when you read about the faults of the nonbelievers and of the hypocrites who hide and distort the truth, think about whether you are also afflicted with such faults. If you are, try to stop them, to chase them away, to eliminate them. If you do not have them, take refuge in Him, be thankful and praise Him.

What is essential for you is to be heedful at all times, to be attentive to what comes into your mind and your heart. Think about and analyze these thoughts and feelings. Try to control them. Beware of the wishes of your ego, settle your accounts with it.

Have conscience, shame, in front of Allah. That will be a motivation to make you heedful. You will then care about what you are doing or saying or thinking, and the thoughts and feelings that are ugly in the eyes of Allah will be unable to settle in your heart. Your heart will then be safe from wishing acts not in accordance with Allah's pleasure.

Give value to your time, live in the present moment. Do not live in imagination and throw your time away. Allah has prescribed a duty, an act, a worship for your every moment. Know what it is and hasten to do it.

First perform the actions He has given to you as obligations. Then do what He has given to you to do through the example of His Prophet. Then take on what He has left you as voluntary, acceptable good deeds. Work to serve the ones who are in need.

Do everything you do in order to come close to your Lord in your worship and prayers. Think that each deed may be your last act, each prayer your last prostration, that you may not have another chance. If you do this, it will be another motivation for becoming heedful and also for becoming sincere and truthful. Allah does not accept good deeds done unconsciously and insincerely as readily as deeds done in consciousness and sincerity.

To be continued....

How to be closer to Allah. (Part 1)

2008-08-06T16:07:00.002-04:00

...by Ibn 'Arabi...

In the name of Allah, The Beneficent, Most Merciful.

O you who yearn for eternal beauty, traveler on the path of the true wish, may Allah make you successful in knowing the true way, finding it, and being upon it. May He use you and us in actions that please Him and are done for His sake. For the beginning and the end and what is in between, and success in them all, belong only to Him.

The way and means to eternal salvation and bliss is in coming close to the Truth. Allah Himself teaches us the meaning of His closeness to us. He teaches us by sending us His prophets. We say, "we believe." It is the truth. We accept and confirm it. The only thing then left for us to do is to follow the teachings and the example of His prophet.

First, you must believe in the oneness and uniqueness of the One who is before the before and after the after, who created us and everything else, and you must not associate with Him anything unbefitting the purity of His Essence.

The second matter of importance for one who wishes to learn is the belief that Allah Most High is free from all resemblance to anything visible or invisible in the creation. He is free from all defect.

Look upon the whole creation, and above all, mankind, with good will - accepting, approving, forgiving, serving, loving. Make that your nature in your dealings with the world. Listen to your conscience.

Cleanse your heart. In that clean heart, keep up prayer for your faithful brothers. Help and serve, as much as you can, the people who hide their misery, who are content with their poverty, the travelers on the path to truth.

Do not attribute to yourself virtue, goodness, and graciousness because of your service to the creation. Consider that you owe other people thanks for having humbly accepted your help. It is incumbent upon you to lighten the load of those who are burdened. If people whose pain you have helped to alleviate cause you pain in return - if their responses, their ways, their habits are dark and cast shadows upon you - show patience and forbearance.

Do not forget that Allah says:

"...surely Allah is with the patient." (Al-Baqarah, 153)

Do not spend your life in empty endeavors and your time in idle talk. Instead, reflect and remember Allah, read the Qur'an, guide the misguided to the enlightened path. Help others leave evil and turn to doing good. Mend broken friendships. Help others to help others.

Find the right friend, who will be a support for you, a good traveling companion on the path of truth. Faith is a seed. It grows into a tree with the beneficent watering and sunshine of faithful friends. Beware of being close to those who do not discriminate between the faithful and the unfaithful - not knowing either faith or the faithful, they do not care about them. They are either strangers to or enemies of the truth in which you believe.

Look for a perfect teacher who will lead you on the straight path. In your search for a guide, be sincere, because sincerity distinguishes the true seeker. It is certain that if you cling to sincerity and truthfulness, the Lord will manifest His attribute of the Ultimate Guide upon you and will guide you to a perfect teacher.

A matter of the greatest importance, one of your greatest needs, is to be sure that the morsel of bread you put in your mouth is lawful.

Take care, since if the love of this world takes root firmly in your heart, it constricts your heart, and it becomes exceedingly hard to pull it out and throw it away. This world is a trial ground; don't seek comfort and riches in it.

Eat less. That will leave more space in your heart and will increase your desire to pray and be obedient It will make you more active and less lazy.

Cleanse and beautify your days and nights with worship. The generous Lord asks you to His presence five times a day. Do your prayers at the times He calls you, five times daily, and at each prayer make an accounting of your actions since the last prayer. It is to be hoped that only good deeds and actions befitting a Muslim are done between the times of prayer.

Most people complain that this world, their work to secure their sustenance, and their work as householders for their families, take time away from their worship. Know that work done heedfully, with consideration for others, in accordance with proper behavior, for the pleasure of Allah, is also worship.

Allah has blessed you with intellect, knowledge, profession, strength, and health. All grace and power are due to Him. Use these to gather as much of your sustenance as possible in the minimum of time. If possible, secure in one day your week's sustenance.

Take the example of Ahmad al-Sabti, a prince, the son of the 'Abbasid caliph Harun al-Rashid. He used the maximum of his talents and strength and effort and worked exceedingly hard as a manual laborer on Saturday. With what he earned in one day he was able to live a whole week. He dedicated the remaining six days of the week to working for Allah and worshipping Him.

To be continued....

From Al-Imam Al-Haddad to you and me.. (Part 2)

2008-07-23T11:12:00.000-04:00

"And if you have more than enough then give to the needy
And your Lord will pour His provision upon you, so answer His call.

And if you are tested with poverty be content and sufficed
with Allah your Lord, hope for His bounty and wait patiently.

And if you are removed from worldly means then act with certainty
And (act) with knowledge if your state is involvement with these means.

Recite the Qur'an with a present and fearful heart
continously and do not become distracted or allow your mind to wander.

Because in it are both guidance and knowledge
and light and openings, by which I mean the lifting of veils.

Constantly remember your Lord and never leave His remembrance
because remembrance is the Sultan of righteous works.

And rise when the heedless are sleeping and strive
and eat moderately and do not neglect adab.

Your parents have rights which are fulfilled by
those who fear Allah, and likewise your relatives.

And your neighbours and companions - do not forget their rights,
and choose only the company of the righteous.

Interact with people with noble character and do not
rebuke anyone and do not find fault with them.

Fulfill their rights and do not demand yours from them and give them sincere advice
And constantly call them to fulfill the rights of Allah.

Beware of the company of evil and foolish people
and the envious and those who cause trouble.

In all situations be steadfast (have sabr) and know that at first
it is bitter but later it becomes sweet like honey

O Lord! You are my utmost desire and reliance
You are my hope in this life and the next.

So forgive and pardon a poor slave who has no deeds
that are righteous and has only gathered sins.

He is, however, repentant of what he has done,
and has come to You acknowledging his sins, fearing Your wrath.

If you forgive him, it is from Your grace O Eternally Besought,
so be generous to me my Lord and remove my fear,

And then send prayers on the Guide Muhammad and His descendants
as long as rain falls from the clouds,

And as long as the dove sings on its branch,
and as long as the branches sway on the dunes."

-The End-

***********************************************************************

Who is Imam Al-Haddad?

Imam Al-Haddad and me.

The Messenger of God, may blessings and peace be upon him and upon his family, prophesied that in every century God would raise up amongst his nation a man who would renew its religion.

Imam 'Abdallah al-Haddad was the renewer, or Mujaddid, of the twelfth Islamic century. He was renowned, and deservedly so, for the breadth of his knowledge and his manifest sanctity. The profundity of his influence on Muslims is reflected by the fact his books are still in print throughout the Islamic world.

He was born in Tarim, in the hills of Hadramaut, one of the southerly regions of the Arabian peninsula, and grew up in an environment where the accent was upon piety, frugality, erudition, and an uncompromising thirst for gnosis (ma'rifa).

His lineage is traced back to the Prophet, may blessings and peace be upon him, and his family, through Imam al-Husayn. His illustrious ancestors, the 'Alawi sadat, had for centuries produced generation after generation of great scholars, gnostics, and summoners to the Straight Path.

Imam al-Haddad's writings, if we except a few short treatises, and his volume of poetry, are mostly concerned with establishing within his readers the firmest possible foundations for faith and certainty.

He recognised the signs of his times and of the times to come, and observed how people were drawing away from religion, exhibiting a reluctance to study and a diminishing inclination to seek spiritual growth. He therefore endeavoured to produce concise, clear, and uncontroversial texts. His concern for brevity is manifest throughout his books, many of which are abbreviated adaptations of Imam al-Ghazali's monumental Revival of the Religious Sciences (Ihya 'Ulum al-Din). Ghazali had himself been the renewer of the sixth century.

Imam al-Haddad died on the eve of the seventh of Dhu'l-Qa'da, 1132 A.H. having spent his life bringing people to their Lord through his oral and written teaching, and his exemplary life.

He was buried in a simple grave in the cemetary at Tarim.

Source : http://www.iqra.net/articles/al-haddad.html

Today, almost three centuries after Imam ‘Abdallah ibn ‘Alawi al-Haddad’s death in 1720, it is not difficult to see why his influence seems to be growing more powerful by the day and his knowledge continues to spread far and wide. Because he was one of the most accomplished scholars of all time, as well as a giant of Muslim spirituality, the task of renewing Islam fell upon him.

His work restates traditional Islamic knowledge in the form best suited for his time and succeeding centuries, and has also modified the spiritual methodology of the Sufis, rendering it suitable for the Muslims of the ‘End of Time’. This modified practice he called the ‘Method of the Companions of the Right Hand’ in order to distinguish it from the much stricter ‘Method of the Drawn Near’ of his ancestors and other previous Sufis. In all these endeavors the Imam always represented the strictest orthodox current within Islam.

Imam al-Haddad is still present in the lives of many Muslims. The anniversary of his death continues to be commemorated each year on all five continents.

His awrad are recited daily by thousands of Muslims.

His poems, which radiate love, wisdom, and knowledge, are among the most frequently sung verses in spiritual gatherings.

His books have been and still are being reprinted almost yearly, formerly in Cairo but now more often in Beirut and Singapore. Many of his works have been translated into a number of languages and are benefiting thousands of people everywhere.

His spiritual method is still being implemented by ‘Alawi masters, producing more masters, and thereby continually proving its efficacy in assisting spiritual travelers along the path to fruition.

Source : http://www.fonsvitae.com/sufisage.html

From Imam Al-Haddad to you and me. (Part 1)

2008-07-20T23:34:00.000-04:00

"My advice to you, O distinguished and respectful one,
If you wish to attain high stations

And if you wish to surpass others and reach the highest levels
with ease and attain your goal and desire,

Then have Taqwa of Allah whose mercy is hoped for
The One, The Unique, The Reliever of difficulties.

Adhere to His obligations and avoid His prohibitions
And fill your nights and days with righteous works.

Bring to your heart a fear which does not part from it
A fear of its Lord and with it a similar feeling of hope.

And strive to adorn the heart with sincerity
And know that *ostentation will lead to your destruction.

And purify your heart from all vices and do not
follow the paths of the corrupt and questionable people.

And prevent your tongue from harming anyone
of Allah's servants and from talebearing and lying.

Be dignified and humbled ( in front of Allah ) and be not absorbed
in distractions, joking, merriment and play.

And free your heart from deceit and envy
And avoid arrogance, O poor soul, and vanity.

And be content with humility because truly it is the character-trait
of the righteous, so follow them and you will be saved from the heart's sickness.

And beware! Beware of the ignorant one's saying "I"
And "You are below me in merit and degree"

For people have failed and did not seek to obtain
Noble character and (instead) were content with saying "My father was so-and-so".

Go against your lower self and recognise it as an enemy
Ignore its whims and what it wants and you WILL succeed.

And if it calls you to what it wants through its desire,
clarify to it that punishment and humiliation will be the outcome.

Renounce with your heart an abode which has deceived
many people who saw it as the ultimate goal.

They competed over it and gave it their bodies
and souls - O Allah! How amazing that it is!

Given that it is worthless and does not weigh
with Allah the wing (of a gnat), so foolish is the one who covets it!

Take only what you need from this Dunya and use it
while earnestly striving to reach your Lord and seek His reward.

Know that the one who buys his earthly life
at the price of an afterlife of everlasting bliss will be deprived.

-To Be Continued-

*ostentation : Riya' or showing off in good works

*************************************************************************

Feel free to view the pictures I took of Tarim, Seiyun, Mukalla, San'aa, 'Adn and Shihr. But I have yet to include the descriptions of the pictures. I will try and do so as soon as possible.

http://munirfa.fotopages.com

Gems of Wisdom...

2008-07-17T19:46:00.000-04:00

True knowledge is not mentioned in relation to how much you memorise and then narrate, but rather, true knowledge is an expression of piety.

(protecting oneself from what Allah prohibited and acting upon what He mandated)
- Ibn Mas'ud (radhiyallahu 'anhu)

A Muslim's humiliation comes from his heedlessness of his religion, not in his lack of wealth or stature.
- Uthman (radhiyallahu 'anhu)

I never saw anyone as just as the world. As long as you pursue the world it will pursue you, but when you turn away from it and seek God, it will leave you alone and its glamor shall no longer fascinate you.

Abu Dardaa' has said:
"Everyone has an imperfection of knowledge and wisdom. If his wealth increases, he becomes so happy, though day and night are working hard on destroying his life-span. So what is good of a wealth that increases and a life-span that decreases?"
(Very true, don't you think so?)

The one who correctly praises me is my friend.

The one who correctly criticizes me is my teacher.

The one who flatters me is my enemy.

Abu Hurayrah (radhiyallahu 'anhu) was asked about taqwa. He said,
"It is a road full of thorns. One who walks it needs to have extreme patience."

All humans are dead except those who have knowledge;
and all those who have knowledge are asleep, except those who do good deeds;
and those who do good deeds are deceived, except those who are sincere;
and those who are sincere are always in a state of worry.
- Imam Shafi'i (radhiyallahu 'anhu)

If someone gave you a beautiful, expensive new hat, wouldn't you be grateful for the generous gift? But shouldn't you be even more grateful for THE One Who gave you the head to put that hat on?

Wealth has no permanence. It comes in the morning, and at night it is scattered to the winds.

Physical beauty too has no importance, for a rosy face is made pale by the scratch of a single thorn.
Noble birth also is of small account, for many become fools of money and horses.
Many a nobleman's son has disgraced his father by his wicked deeds.
Don't court a person full of talent either, even if he seems exquisite in that respect.
Take warning from the example of Satan the Devil. Satan had knowledge, but since his love was not pure, he saw in Adam nothing but a figure of clay.

- Shaykh Muzaffer Ozak

What is the proper gender-interaction in Islam?

2008-07-14T12:42:00.000-04:00

(sunnipath.com)

"Alhamdulillah, I am a convert to Islam and have been in the deen for about 2 years. As of yet no one has explained to me about khalwa between the sexes, interactions with women, the lawful and unlawful interactions, dealings etc. that happen between sexes. Could you please provide me with a very detailed response on these things as this is a very confusing issue for me and when ever I am put in the situation with women I have no idea what to do."

(Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari)

In Islam, interactions between the sexes are permitted within certain limits specified by the Quran and the Sunna. To some, these limits might appear to be very strict. However, there is a divine wisdom underpinning the limits set down by the Shari'ah. In adhering to the boundaries set by the Shari'ah, we can uphold the Quranic command to the believing men and women to be awliya of one another, or protecting friends, while at the same time maintaining the modesty and purity of heart that come from obeying Allah and His Messenger in this regard.

In brief, when interacting with a woman who is not a member of your unmarriageable kin or your wife, you must avoid khalwa, or seclusion; guard your gaze; and obviously, avoid any physical contact.

In more detail:

1. Khalwa takes place when one man or more than one man are alone with one woman in a place where no one can see them or enter. If there are two women and a man, for example, this is not khalwa. However, when there is only one woman, this situation is considered as seclusion, and becomes unlawful. Obviously, this is for the protection of the woman and the man (or men) so that a situation will not arise where the male becomes tempted and the woman possibly harmed.

If you are in a situation where you are in a room with two or more women, this is not khalwa and there is no need for you to be uncomfortable.

2. Guarding your gaze is a good practice that fosters modest interaction between the sexes. The Quran commands both believing men and women to guard their gaze. Unfortunately, many Muslims have lost this practice.

What guarding the gaze means is that you should refrain from staring at a woman's face (if she's not a member of your unmarriageable kin or your wife). It does not mean keeping one's eyes glued to the ground.

In Western societies (Singapore included), guarding one's gaze can sometimes be interpreted as a lack of assertiveness or respect for the other person. However, with Muslims, guarding one's gaze indicates respect for the other person's space and modesty of intention.

Our scholars have said that looking at a woman's face is permitted in certain occasions. For example,

- if you are seeking a woman in marriage, it is permitted to look at her face.
- If you work in any type of job that requires you to look at people and interact with them, looking is permitted as long as you don't look with desire.
- If you are a teacher, looking at your female students is permitted as long as you don't look more than necessary or with desire.

In short, be modest and respectful.

3. According to the Shari'ah, where looking is not permitted, then touching is also unlawful. This can be a sensitive topic for Muslims living in the West (Singapore included) where handshaking is commonplace and is considered a polite thing to do. Shaking the hand of someone from the opposite sex is unlawful. According to our scholars, the Prophet, peace be upon him, never shook the hand of a woman who was not a member of his unmarriageable kin or his wife. So you should do your utmost to avoid shaking hands. But try to do it in a way that does not offend the other person. For many non-Muslims, if you simply explain to them that your religion (or culture) does not permit shaking hands and that you mean no offense, then usually people are okay with that.

4. Covering the awrah or one's nakedness. Another requirement of interaction between the sexes is that everyone should observe Islamic modesty or covering the awrah.

For men, this means covering what's between the navel and the knee.

For women, this means covering the whole body except the face and hands.

Obviously, if you live and work in the West (Singapore included), everyday you will see women who are not properly covered. What you need to do here is to simply be modest, behave respectfully, and avoid looking at women without need.

In conclusion, when you find yourself in a situation with women, Muslim or otherwise, simply be modest and respectful. There is no problem with talking to a member of the opposite sex or working with that person when there is a need.

As long as we adhere to these boundaries, inshallah everything should be fine.

What's important to remember here is the example of our Prophet, peace be upon him. He was modest, respectful, and kind to everyone. He also interacted with women when there was a need to do so. He is the best example for us.

And Allah alone gives success. And Allah knows best.

♥ ♥ ♥

Why people backbite and how to stop backbiting.

2008-07-10T01:34:00.003-04:00

What causes a person to backbite his Muslim brothers and sisters?

1. Satisfying anger.

This is done by backbiting the person who kindles his anger - so every time this person makes him angry, he subsides it by backbiting the person. Through this (the backbiting), he feels he is getting even with the other person.

The cure for this is the advice of Prophet Muhammad 'alaihissalatu wassalam, "Do not get angry."

2. Wanting to make or keep friends.

In order to maintain friends with others, a person indulges in backbiting because he is afraid of losing their friendship. Thus he does not reprimand them when they backbite, but indulges in it with them.

To cure this he must remember the saying of Prophet Muhammad 'alaihissalatu wassalam, "Whoever seeks the pleasure of men by displeasing Allah, Allah will abandon him to the people."

3. Playing around, joking and making fun of others.

This could involve mockery and sarcasm.

It is enough to remind those indulging in this practice of what Allah, the Most High said: "O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter is better than the former."

4. Anger for the sake of Allah.

A person may become angry because of a sin committed by another person so he talks about it venting his anger and mentioning that person's name instead of concealing it and not mentioning him.

Sufyaan ibn al-Husayn narrates: I was sitting with Iyaas ibn Mu'aawiyah when a man walked by and I said ill of that man. "Keep quiet!" Iyaas said to me. "Have you fought the Romans?" I said no. He asked, "Have you fought the Turk?" I said no. He then said, "The Romans were saved from you and likewise the Turk were saved from you. But your own Muslim brother was not saved!" Sufyaan said, "After that I never backbited anyone."

5.Having too much spare time.

This can cause a person to fall into backbiting, because it is easy for such an idle mind to become busy with men, their honor and their faults. To correct this a person must spend his time in acts of obedience to Allah, worship, seeking knowledge, and teaching others.

6. Conceit and lack of awareness of one's faults.

Such people should think about their own faults and try to correct themselves and feel ashamed to criticize others when they have many faults themselves.

It was said to Rabee' ibn Khaytham, "We never see you finding fault in others." He replied, "I am not satisfied with myself enough to dedicate my time to finding faults in others." (Subhanallah!)

~~~~~

How can we revive this air of mercy and love and brotherhood that the companions lived? The Messenger of Allah showed us in the following ways:

1. Having Iman in Allah and doing acts of goodness.

2. Spreading Salam to those whom you know and those whom you do not.

Rasulullah said, "You shall not enter Jannah until you believe, and you shall not believe until you love one another. Shall I not guide you to something that – if you do it – you shall love one another? Spread Salam amongst yourselves."

3. Giving gifts to your brothers and sisters.

Suffice is the statement of Rasul Allah, "Give gifts and you shall love one another."

(Let me help you here. I love books. I love black abayas.)

4. Telling your brother or sister that you love them for the sake of Allah.

This is one of the ways to solidify the brotherhood/sisterhood when your brother or sister knows that you love them.

~~~~~

These days people are loved for the clothes they wear, so they buy more expensive clothes. Others are loved for the cars they drive, so they buy newer models. But how many are loved for the sake of Allah, and what kind of effect would that have?

Rasulullah showed us the example when he said to Mu'aaz, "O Mu'aaz! I love you for the sake of Allah!" (Imagine if it was you that Rasulullah said it to! *faints*) Mu'aaz replied, "May He whom you have loved me for love you too."

In conclusion, if you remember only one thing today, let it be the following words of Rasulullah. He 'alaihissalatu wassalam said,

"Whoever believes in Allah and the last Day, let him say good things or keep quiet."

The four poisons of the heart (4)

2008-07-07T21:40:00.000-04:00

Keeping Bad Company

Unnecessary companionship is a chronic disease that causes much harm. How often have the wrong kind of companionship and intermixing deprived people of Allah's generosity, planting discord in their hearts which even the passage of time - even if it were long enough for mountains to be worn away - has been unable to dispel. In keeping such company one can find the roots of loss, both in this life and in the next life.

A servant should benefit from companionship. In order to do so he should divide people into four categories, and be careful not to get them mixed up, for once one of them is mixed with another, then evil can find its way through to him.

The first category are those people whose company is like food.

It is indispensable, night or day. Once a servant has taken his need from it, he leaves it be until he requires it again, and so on. These are the people with knowledge of Allah - of His commands, of the scheming of His enemies, and of the diseases of the heart and their remedies - who wish well for Allah, His Prophet and His servants. Associating with this type of person is an achievement in itself.

The second category are those people whose company is like a medicine.

They are only required when a disease sets in. When you are healthy, you have no need of them. However, mixing with them is sometimes necessary for your livelihood, businesses, consultation and the like. Once what you need from them has been fulfilled, mixing with them should be avoided.

The third category are those people whose company is harmful.

Mixing with this type of person is like a disease, in all its variety and degrees and strengths and weaknesses. Associating with one or some of them is like an incurable chronic disease. You will never profit either in this life or in the next life if you have them for company, and you will surely lose either one or both of your deen (religion) and your livelihood because of them. If their companionship has taken hold of you and is established, then it becomes a fatal, terrifying sickness.

Amongst such people are those who neither speak any good that might benefit you, nor listen closely to you so that they might benefit from you. They do not know their souls and consequently put their selves in their rightful place. If they speak, their words fall on their listeners' hearts like the lashes of a cane, while all the while they are full of admiration for and delight in their own words.

They cause distress to those in their company, while believing that they are the sweet scent of the gathering. If they are silent, they are heavier than a massive millstone - too heavy to carry or even drag across the floor.

All in all, mixing with anyone who is bad for the soul will not last, even if it is unavoidable. It can be one of the most distressing aspects of a servant's life that he is plagued by such person, with whom it may be necessary to associate. In such a relationship, a servant should cling to good behaviour, only presenting him with his outward appearance, while disguising his inner soul, until Allah offers him a way out of his affliction and the means of escape from this situation.

The fourth category are those people whose company is doom itself.

It is like taking poison. Its victim either finds an antidote or perishes. Many people belong to this category. They are the people of religious innovation and misguidance, those who abandon the sunnah of the Messenger of Allah and advocate other beliefs. They call what is the sunnah a bid'a and vice-versa. A man with any intellect should not sit in their assemblies nor mix with them. The result of doing so will either be the death of his heart or, at the very best, its falling seriously ill.

What Gives the Heart Life and Sustenance

You should know that acts of obedience are essential to the well being of the servant's heart, just in the same way that food and drink are to that of the body. All wrong actions are the same as poisonous foods, and they inevitably harm the heart.

The servant feels the need to worship his Lord, Mighty and Glorious is He, for he is naturally in constant need of His help and assistance.

In order to maintain the well being of his body, the servant carefully follows a strict diet. He habitually and constantly eats good food at regular intervals, and is quick to free his stomach of harmful elements if he happens to eat bad food by mistake.

The well being of the servant's heart, however, is far more important than that of his body, for while the well being of his body enables him to lead a life that is free from illnesses in this world, that of the heart ensures him both a fortunate life in this world and eternal bliss in the next.

In the same way, while the death of the body cuts the servant off from this world, the death of the heart results in everlasting anguish. A righteous man once said, "How odd, that some people mourn for the one whose body has died, but never mourn for the one whose heart has died and yet the death of the heart is far more serious!"

Thus acts of obedience are indispensable to the well being of the heart. It is worthwhile mentioning the following acts of obedience here, since they are very necessary and essential for the servant's heart.

1. Dzikr of Allah ta'ala.
2. Recitation of the Noble Qur'an.
3. Seeking Allah's forgiveness.
4. Making du'as.
5. Invoking Allah's blessings and peace on the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace.
6. Praying in the middle of the night.

Allahummaj'alnaa minhum.

The four poisons of the heart (3)

2008-07-01T07:38:00.000-04:00

Poison of the heart, number 3 :
Too Much Food.

The consumption of small amounts of food guarantees
- tenderness of the heart,
- strength of the intellect,
- humility of the self,
- weakness of desires,
- and gentleness of temperament.

Immoderate eating brings about the opposite of these praiseworthy qualities.

Al-Miqdam ibn Ma'd Yakrib said: "I heard the Messenger of Allah say: "The son of Adam fills no vessel more displeasing to Allah than his stomach. A few morsels should be enough for him to preserve his strength. If he must fill it, then he should allow a third for his food, a third for his drink and leave a third empty for easy breathing."

Excessive eating induces many kinds of harm. It makes the body incline towards disobedience to Allah and makes worship and obedience seem laborious - such evils are bad enough in themselves.

A full stomach and excessive eating have caused many a wrong action and inhibited much worship. Whoever safeguards against the evils of overfilling his stomach has prevented great evil. It is easier for shaytan to control a person who has filled his stomach with food and drink, which is why it has often been said:
"Restrict the pathways of shaytan by fasting."

It has been reported that when a group of young men from the Tribe of Israel were worshipping, and it was time for them to break their fast, a man stood up and said: "Do not eat too much, otherwise you will drink too much, and then you will end up sleeping too much, and then you will lose too much."

The Prophet and his companions, may Allah be pleased with them, used to go hungry quite frequently. Although this was often due to a shortage of food, Allah decreed the best and most favourable conditions for His Messenger, may Allah bless him and grant him peace.

This is why Ibn Umar and his father before him - in spite of the abundance of food available to them - modelled their eating habits on those of the Prophet . It has been reported that Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said: "From the time of their arrival in Madina up until his death, the family of Muhammad never ate their fill of bread made from wheat three nights in a row." (Subhanallah..)

Ibrahim ibn Adam said:

"Anyone who controls his stomach is in control of his deen, and anyone who controls his hunger is in control of good behaviour. Disobedience towards Allah is nearest to a person who is satiated with a full stomach, and furthest away from a person who is hungry."

The four poisons of the heart (2)

2008-06-30T18:36:00.000-04:00

Unrestrained Glances

The unrestrained glance results in the one who looks becomes attracted to what he sees, and in the imprinting of an image of what he sees in his heart. This can result in several kinds of corruption in the heart of the servant. The following are a number of them.

It has been related that the Prophet once said : "The glance is a poisoned arrow of shaytan. Whoever lowers his gaze for Allah, He will bestow upon him a refreshing sweetness which he will find in his heart on the day that he meets Him."

Shaytan enters with the glance, for he travels with it, faster than the wind blowing through an empty space. Shaytan makes what is seen appear more beautiful than it really is, and transforms it into an idol for the heart to worship. Then he promises it false rewards, lights the fire of desires within it, and fuels it with the wood of forbidden actions, which the servant would not have comitted had it not been for this distorted image.

This distracts the heart and makes it forget its more important concerns. It stands between it and them; and so the heart loses its straight path and falls into the pit of desire and ignorance. Allah, Mighty and Glorious is He, says :

"And do not obey anyone whose heart We have made forgetful in remembering Us
- who follows his own desires, and whose affair has exceeded all bounds."
(Al-Qur'an 18:28)

It has been said that between the eye and the heart is an immediate connection; if the eyes are corrupted, then the heart follows. It becomes like a rubbish heap where all the dirt and filth and rottenness collect, and so there is no room for love for Allah, relating all matters to Him, awareness of being in His presence, and feeling joy at His proximity - only the opposite of these things can inhabit such a heart. Staring and gazing without restraint is disobedience to Allah.

"Tell the believing men (and women) to lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that is more purifying for them. Surely Allah is aware of what they do."
(Al-Qur'an 24:30)

Only the one who obeys Allah's commands is content in this world, and only the servant who obeys Allah will survive in the next world.(The REAL world.)

Furthermore, letting the gaze roam free cloaks the heart with darkness, just as lowering the gaze for Allah clothes it in light. After the above verse, Allah, the Glorious and Mighty, says in the same surah of the Qur'an :

"Allah is the light of the heavens and the earth: the likeness of His light is as if there were a niche, and in the niche is a lamp, and in the lamp is a glass, and the glass as it were a brilliant star, lit from a blessed tree, an olive, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil is well nigh luminous, though fire scarce touched it. Light upon light. Allah guides whomever He wants to His Light. Allah strikes metaphors for man; and Allah knows all things."
(Al-Qur'an 24:35)

When there is a light in the heart, countless good comes to it from all directions.

If it is dark, then clouds of evil and afflictions come from all directions to cover it up.

Letting the gaze run loose also makes the heart blind to distinguishing between truth and falsehood, between the sunnah and innovation; while lowering it for Allah, the Might and Exalted, gives it a penetrating, true and distinguishing insight.

A righteous man once said: "Whoever
- enriches his outward behaviour by following the sunnah,
- makes his inward soul wealthy through contemplation,
- averts his gaze away from looking at what is forbidden,
- avoids anything of a doubtful nature
- and feeds solely on what is halal;
his inner sight will never falter."

♥ ♥ ♥

When I was Tarim, each of the sacred knowledge which I have seeked went straight to the heart. No need to spend weeks after weeks of memorization. No need for those killing revisions. All of it flew into my heart and stayed in it fixedly. Not into my brain but into my heart. Something I've never felt before. Not even once in the six long years while studying in Egypt. Every verse of the Al-quran, every new hadith, each new specific information on Islam; all those including the tiny little weeny informations were able to make me cry like a baby. The emotion was very strongly felt. Those were tears of gladness. Tears of love. Love for Allah. Love for the Prophet. I cried because I finally got to feel the REAL thing. I felt the true sweetness of seeking those precious sacred knowledge. I felt the love Allah is giving us. Those tears and feelings left me asking myself The Question.

Why was it that when I was in Egypt, I failed to experience the exact earnest emotions?

I was in Egypt for six years.
I was in Tarim for only 50 days.
But the difference was very huge. VERY HUGE.

Go through the above article again, and you will find the answer which I have already found while in Tarim.

EGYPT ----> FREE GAZING.

TARIM ----> RESTRICTED GAZING.

THE EYE ----> THE HEART.

WHEN OUR GAZE IS AT LIBERTY, OUR HEART WILL NEVER BE LIT WITH THE LIGHT.
AND WHEN THERE IS NO LIGHT IN THE HEART, ~~go kill yourself~~ start worrying.

The four poisons of the heart (1)

2008-06-28T20:52:00.000-04:00

(By Ibn Qayyim al Jawziyyah)

You should know that all acts of disobedience are poison to the heart and cause its sickness and ruin. They result in its will running off course, against that of Allah, and so its sickness festers and increases.

Ibn al-Mubarak said:

"I have seen wrong actions killing hearts,
And their degradation may lead to their becoming addicted to them.
Turning away from wrong actions gives life to the hearts,
And opposing your self is best for it."

Whoever is concerned with the health and life of his heart, must rid it of the effects of such poisons, and then protect it by avoiding new ones. If he takes any by mistake, then he should hasten to wipe out their effect by turning in repentance and seeking forgiveness from Allah, as well as by doing good deeds that will wipe out his wrong actions.

By the four poisons we mean unnecessary talking, unrestrained glances, too much food and keeping bad company. Of all the poisons, these are the most widespread and have the greatest effect on a heart's well-being.

Unnecessary Talking

It is reported that the Prophet said : "The faith of a servant is not put right until his heart is put right, and his heart is not put right until his tongue is put right."

This shows that the Prophet has made the purification of faith conditional on the purification of the heart, and the purification of the heart conditional on the purification of the tongue.

The Prophet also said : "Do not talk excessively without remembering Allah, because such excessive talk without the mention of Allah causes the heart to harden, and the person furthest from Allah is a person with a hard heart."

'Umar Ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, said: "A person who talks too much is a person who often makes mistakes, and someone who often makes mistakes, often has wrong actions. The Fire has a priority over such a frequent sinner."

A man, through his actions and words, sows the seeds of either good or evil. On the Day of Resurrection he harvests their fruits. Those who sow the seeds of good words and deeds harvest honour and blessings; those who sow the seeds of evil words and deeds reap only regret and remorse.

In a hadith, the Prophet said : "What mostly causes people to be sent to the Fire are the two openings : the mouth and the private parts."

Uqba ibn Amir said: "I said: "O Messenger of Allah, what is our best way of surviving?" He, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, replied: "Guard your tongue, make your house suffice for sheltering your privacy, and weep for your wrong actions.""

The Prophet said, "Whoever can guarantee what is between his jaws and what is between his legs, I guarantee him the Garden (heaven)."

He also said, "Let whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day either speak good or remain silent."

Thus talking can either be good, in which case it is commendable, or bad, in which case it is haram.

Umar ibn al-Khattab visited Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with them, and found him pulling his tongue with his fingers. Umar said "Stop! may Allah forgive you!" Abu Bakr replied; "This tongue has brought me to dangerous places."

Abdullah ibn Masud said: "By Allah, besides Whom no god exists, nothing deserves a long prison sentence more than my tongue." He also used to say: "O tongue, say good and you will profit; desist from saying evil things and you will be safe; otherwise you will find only regret."

Abu Huraira reported that Ibn al-Abbas said: "A person will not feel greater fury or anger for any part of his body on the Day of Judgement more than what he will feel for his tongue, unless he only used it for saying or enjoining good."

Al-Hassan said: "Whoever does not hold his tongue cannot understand his deen."

The Prophet said : "One of the merits of a person's Islam is his abandoning that which does not concern him."

Abu Ubaida related that al-Hassan said: "One of the signs of Allah's abandoning a servant is His making him preoccupied with what does not concern him."

This is the least harmful of the tongue's faults. There are far worse things, like backbiting, gossiping, obscene and misleading talk, two-faced and hypocritical talk, showing off, quarrelling, bickering, singing, lying, mockery, derision and falsehood; and there are many more faults which can affect a servant's tongue, ruining his heart and causing him to lose both his happiness and pleasure in this life, and his success and profit in the next life.

What goes around, comes around!

2008-06-25T12:26:00.000-04:00

You lovelies HAVE TO read this till the end.

Read it, reflect and act.

*****

He almost didn't see the old lady, stranded on the side of the road. But even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still puttering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so... was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry.

He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. He said, "I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Khalifa."

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Khalifa crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.

As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from Babylon and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Khalifa just smiled as he closed her trunk. She asked him how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Khalifa never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him.

This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way. He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Khalifa added, "And pray for me."

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps.

The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The cash register was like the telephone of an out-of-work actor - it didn't ring much. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude.

The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Khalifa.

After the lady finished her meal and the waitress went to get change for her hundred dinar bill, the lady slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back.

The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin under which were four hundred dinar bills. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: "You don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you."

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard. She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low,

"Everything is going to be all right. I love you, Khalifa."

-

-

-

Allah says: "He who gives to others more out of his own will then it is better for his own self.."

(Source : qisas.com)

the baby grandson.

2008-06-21T14:35:00.005-04:00

i know, i know.
ahmad is the cutest.
subhanAllah.
masyaAllah.

Women Warriors of Islam

2008-06-19T16:42:00.000-04:00

Dedicated to a beloved sister of mine, a very much loved sister-in-Islam, the adored one, Srichantique.

Prophet Muhammad 'alaihissalatu wassalam said,

"How remarkable a believer's affair is, for it is always to his advantage, and such a condition is only for a believer. If something good happens to him, he thanks Allah, which is to his advantage; if something bad happens to him he endures it, which is also to his advantage."

Your hands are in mine, Sri love.

♥

True, sincere, believing women of the past
Who in their lives remained faithful and steadfast
Amazing were they, those women who believed
Who hastened to the truth as the Qur'an was revealed
To forever leave behind the old, ignorant ways
Passed down by their forefathers, in the bygone days
Accepting the truth, in utter awe of their lord
Memorizing His divine pearls, word by word

Khadija Al-Kubra, the prophets most beloved
Upon her wealth and wisdom was bestowed
Her wealth, she flourished generously on the poor
Her wisdom helped the prophet believe in the noor
The light of the angels who brought glad tidings
Of prophet hood, a lifetime full of blessings
She was one of the first Muslims who believed
Whilst the majority had refused and rejected
Although, Islam's early days did she pass away
In the prophet's heart and memory she did stay

Rare women today who like Fatima Az-Zahra
The youngest daughter of Khadija Al-Kubra
As a little girl, she bravely helped her father
From the disbelievers, when he was in prayer
Whilst they mocked, she stood firm to protect
What she believed in and her father, the noble prophet
She grew up to be most patient in all her burden
So rightfully earned, she was promised the garden

The memory of Summayyah, within us it still remains
The first martyr of Islam as she endured all pains
Abu Jahl did beat her as she lay on the blazing sand
Why she strongly held onto Islam he could not understand
The truth that Summayyah saw was hidden from his eyes
With sabr, she refused once and again to believe in his lies
Infuriated to the limit, Abu Jahl lunged forward his spear
Putting an end to her life, and she welcomed it without fear
To meet Allah Almighty, to enter the highest rank in Jannah
An end to her suffering, a start of a new beginning

Aisha Bint Abi-Bakr, the greatest scholar of all time
So gifted with knowledge was she, beyond the boundary
People came looking for her, from all over the country
To benefit from her ilm, to hear her advice
Learning from the prophet, she came to be wise
She turned to Allah, when she was wronged in slander
All around the city of Makkah, tongues did wander
Allah came to her aid, as He knew her to be pure
As mother of the believers, she did remain true

Mentioned in the Quran, is Maryam Bint Imran
Allah's chosen "above all women of the world"
Mother of prophet Isa, the purest of all women
Allah provided for her when she was in seclusion
Living only for Him, she was in His protection
Obedient was she when she was told to leave
All her people behind, in order to conceive
In her chastity, a baby boy, a most unique miracle
And patient was she, when she came back to her people
Mocking her that she had disgraced her noble family
Jesus in the cradle had spoken words of true reality
Preached as a baby, a sign of his mother's purity
No doubt, Maryam was unique in every way
And will indeed remain so, until the last day

Last but not least is Asiya, wife of Pharaoh
One of the four most perfect women in Islam
Who had adopted Musa, his life she had saved
With the will of Allah, like a son he'd been loved
To grow up in firaun's eyes, his future untold
He had guided Asiya, pulled her into the fold
Of truth, to believe in the Oneness of the Creator
Instead of Pharaoh, a most deceitful transgressor
To Allah only she did seek His help in desperation
When she went against her husband, for protection
Hoping to reside in paradise with Allah Almighty

Oh how true were the believing women of Islam
To their lord and creator, with strong, solid Iman
They are many, and they all command a sense of respect
They lived their lives righteously, with little regret
Fighting all temptations of life, to live for Allah

What happened then to the Muslimahs of today?
Why are they throwing their precious deen away?
The deen in which women are most honored
A gift from Allah Most High that is sacred
O Allah, I ask you to open their eyes to see
How truly blessed in Islam they could be..

(By Fatiha Sh. Omar)

♥

The lion, rats, snake and the honeycomb.

2008-06-17T13:57:00.000-04:00

Once a man saw in his dream, that a lion was chasing him. The man ran to a tree, climbed on to it and sat on a branch. He looked down and saw that the lion was still there waiting for him.

The man then looked to his side where the branch he was sitting on was attached to the tree and saw that two rats were circling around and eating the branch. One rat was black and the other one was white. The branch would fall on the ground very soon.

The man then looked below again with fear and discovered that a big black snake had come and settled directly under him. The snake opened its mouth right under the man so that he will fall into it.

The man then looked up to see if there was anything that he could hold on to. He saw another branch with a honeycomb. Drops of honey were falling from it. The man wanted to taste one of the drops. So, he put his tongue out and tasted one of the fallen drops of honey. The honey was amazing in taste. So, he wanted to taste another drop.

As he did, he got lost into the sweetness of the honey. Meanwhile, he forgot about the two rats eating his branch away, the lion on the ground and the snake that is sitting right under him. After a while, he woke up from his sleep.

To get the meaning behind this dream, the man went to a a pious scholar of Islam. The scholar said,

"The lion you saw is your death. It always chases you and goes where ever you go.

The two rats, one black and one white, are the night and the day. Black one is the night and the white one is the day. They circle around, coming one after another, to eat your time as they take you closer to death.

The big black snake with a dark mouth is your grave. It's there, just waiting for you to fall into it.

The honeycomb is this world and the sweet honey is the luxuries of this world. We taste a drop of the luxuries of this world, then we taste another drop and yet another. We eventually get too lost and "too high" that we forget about our time, we forget about our death and we forget about our graves."

Very, very true indeed..

A story being narrated to us by the beautiful, soft-spoken, always-seen-smiling, face-full-of-nuur, managed-to-make-me-cry Ustazah Zainab from the pure and magical land of Tarim.

From the very bottom of my heart,

I miss Tarim.

The beautiful meeting with Allah tabaaraka wa ta'aala....

2008-06-15T19:12:00.000-04:00

Allah..

Ya Rabb..

Ij'alnaa minal-ladzeena yajtami'uuna 'alaa kalimatin wahidatin:

"arinaa wajhaka nanzur ilaih...."
"arinaa wajhaka nanzur ilaih...."
"arinaa wajhaka nanzur ilaih...."

If the words and the voice over from the video lack the ability to make us cry silently, then ~~perhaps we should kill ourselves~~ something is wrong somewhere.

♥

(((....And if you ask about the Day of Increase (in reward) and the visit of the all-Mighty, all-Wise, and the sight of His Face - free from any resemblance or likeness to anything - as you see the Sun in the middle of the day and the full Moon on a cloudless night, then listen on the day that the caller will call: 'O People of Paradise! Your Lord - Blessed and Exalted - requests you to visit Him, so come to visit Him!' So they will say: 'We hear and obey!'

Until, when they finally reach the wide valley where they will all meet - and none of them will turn down the request of the caller - the Lord - Blessed and Exalted - will order His Chair to be brought there. Then, pulpits of light will emerge, as well as pulpits of pearls, gemstone, gold, and silver. The lowest of them in rank will sit on sheets of musk, and will not see what those who are on the chairs above them are given.

When they are comfortable where they are sitting and are secure in their places, and the caller calls: 'O People of Paradise! You have an appointment with Allaah in which He wishes to reward you!'

So they will say: 'And what is that reward? Has He not already made our faces bright, made our scales heavy, entered us into Paradise, and pushed us away from the Fire?'

And when they are like that, all of a sudden a light shines that encompasses all of Paradise. So, they raise their heads, and, behold: the Compeller - Exalted is He, and Holy are His Names - has come to them from above them and majestified them and said: 'O People of Paradise! Peace be upon you!' So, this greeting will not be responded to with anything better than: 'O Allaah! You are Peace, and from You is Peace! Blessed are You, O possessor of Majesty and Honor!'

So the Lord - Blessed and Exalted - will laugh to them and say: 'O People of Paradise! Where are those who used to obey Me without having ever seen Me? This is the Day of Increase!'

So, they will all give the same response: 'We are pleased, so be pleased with us!'

So, He will say: 'O People of Paradise! If I were not pleased with you, I would not have made you inhabitants of My Paradise! So, ask of Me!'

So, they will all give the same response: 'Show us your Face so that we may look at it!' So, the Lord - Mighty and Majestic - will remove his covering and will majestify them and will cover them with His Light, which, if Allaah - the Exalted - had not Willed not to burn them, would have burned them.

And there will not remain a single person in this gathering except that his Lord - the Exalted - will speak to him and say: 'Do you remember the day that you did this and that?' and He will remind him of some of his bad deeds in the Worldy life, so he will say: 'O Lord! Will you not forgive me?'

So, He will say: 'Of course! You have not reached this position of yours (in Paradise) except by my forgiveness.'

So, how sweet is this speech to the ears, and how cooled are the righteous eyes by the glance at His Noble Face in the Afterlife...

"Some faces that Day will be shining and radiant, looking at their Lord."
(al-Qiyaamah:22-3)

[from the amazing and beautiful book "Haadi al-Arwaah ilaa Bilaad il-Afraah" by Ibn al-Qayyim, pg. 193]

Invitation

2008-06-03T07:18:00.003-04:00

Assalamu'alaikum.

If you are reading this then you are invited to attend Abah's 40-days tahlil. If you are reading this and pretending to never have chanced on this entry, you are also invited.

Details are as follow.

June 12, 2008
Thursday
8 pm

Men:
Darul Furqan,

303A Changi Road
(fondly known as DF3 - above Chai Chee Seafood Restaurant)

Ladies:
Darul Furqan,

299C Changi Road
(fondly known as DF2 - above the chinese restaurant)

Love,
Muna.

Islamic Knowledge: The Key to Raising Righteous and Successful Children

2008-06-02T03:21:00.002-04:00

By Dr. Norlain Dindang Mababaya

Teaching Islam to our Children: An Important Islamic Duty

Islam teaches us different ways to attain success. One best way is to seek Islamic knowledge based on the Qur'an and the Sunnah. We need to spend time, money, efforts, emotions and patience to learn authentic knowledge of Islam not only for our own success but also to be able to share it to others, especially to our children. The most important and lasting gift or inheritance that we can give to our children is knowledge of Islam. It is a must that we should educate our children with Islamic knowledge since as parents we are accountable to their success and failure. The Prophet r makes it very clear that we are accountable to our respective families/children:

Abdullah ibn Umar radhiyallahu 'anhu reported that he heard the Prophet Muhammad 'alaihissalatu wassalam saying: "Every one of you is a guardian, and responsible for what is in his custody. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects and responsible for them; a husband is a guardian of his family and is responsible for it; a lady is a guardian of her husband's house and is responsible for it, and a servant is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for it. A man is a guardian of his father's property and is responsible for it so all of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and things under your care)."

Malik bin Huwairth radhiyallahu 'anhu narrated: "I came to the Prophet 'alaihissalatu wassalam with some men from my tribe and stayed with him for twenty nights. He was kind and merciful to us. When he realized our longing for our families, he said to us: "Go back and stay with your families and teach them the religion. And offer the prayer and one of you should pronounce the Adzan for the prayer when its time is due. And the oldest one amongst you should lead the prayer." (Bukhari 1/601)

The above authentic ahadith clearly show how the Prophet, peace be upon Him, commands us Muslims to be responsible to our respective families. The best way to perform our duty to our children is to teach them Islam. Allah tells us that our children, just like our wealth and possessions, are but a trial from Him. Allah the Most High says:

"And know that your possessions and your children are but a trial: and that it is Allah with whom lies your highest reward." (8:28)

"Your riches and your children may be but a trial: whereas Allah, with Him is the highest Reward." (64:15)

Since our children are but a trial and that the highest reward is with Allah the Almighty, it is then our responsibility to guide our children to Islam. It is only through Islam that they can become righteous and be of service to Allah. We pass Allah's trial once our children worship and please our Creator. The best thing that we can give to our children is knowledge of Islam. It is the best education and the best means to fight ignorance and drive away evil. The Prophet, peace be upon Him, says in the following ahadith:

"A father gives his child nothing better than a good education."

"A single scholar of religion is more formidable against Satan than a thousand devout people."

Raising Responsible Children

When we teach Islam to our children, we raise them to be righteous and responsible Muslims who will subsequently treat us with kindness and respect. Islam is the only religion that clearly raises the status of the parents to a high degree and honor. In fact, Allah in many Ayat of the Qur'an has commanded us to please our parents after pleasing Him. After our firm belief in Him, our Creator has enjoined us to treat our parents with kindness and respect:

"...Worship none but Allah and be dutiful and treat with kindness your parents and kindred, and orphans and those in need; speak fair to the people; be steadfast in prayer; and give zakat..." (2:83)

"Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbors who are of kin, neighbors who are strangers, the companions by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and what your right hands possess: for Allah loves not the arrogant, vainglorious." (4:36)

"Say: 'Come, I will rehearse what Allah has (really) prohibited you from: join not anything with Him; be good to your parents; kill not your children on a plea of want, We provide sustenance for you and for them; come not nigh to indecent deeds, whether open or secret; take not life, which Allah has made sacred, except by way of justice and law. Thus does He command you, that you may learn wisdom.'" (6:151)

In line with the above Qur'anic injunctions is the commonly quoted hadith, which shows how the true Muslim must be more dutiful to his parents than any other person in the world:

Abu Hurairah radhiyallahu 'anhu narrated that a man came to Allah's Messenger, peace be upon Him, and said, "O Allah's Messenger! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man said, "Who is next?" The Prophetr said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked (for the fourth time), "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father."

Allah the All Knowing and Most Merciful knows that parents especially mothers bear hardships in rearing their children. Thus, He commands children to show gratefulness to their parents. Every man, therefore, is expected to be good to his parents, especially when they attain their old age where they need most his care, service and respect:

"Your Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer) has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility and say: O my Rabb (only God and Sustainer) (Only God and Cherisher)! Bestow on them (my parents) Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." (17:23-24)

"And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to your parents: to Me is (your final) Goal." But if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to Me. In the End the return of you all is to Me. And I will tell you all that you did." (31:14-15)

"We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth." (46:15)

Islam teaches us that it is for our success that we must obey Allah by showing our utmost kindness and respect to our parents. We must also obey them for as long as they do not command us something that disobeys Allah. We have to remember that if we please them, we please Allah. This means, that through our parents we can attain Allah's rewards in the eternal world:

Abdullah ibn Mas'ud radhiyallahu 'anhu narrated: "I asked the Prophet, peace be upon Him, which deed is the dearest to Allah? He replied, "To offer salaat (the prayers) at their early fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents." I again asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, "To participate in jihad in Allah's Cause."

"A parent is the best of the gates of Paradise; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it."

We learn further that in Islam for every Muslim it is a blessing from Allah if he has parents who are old as it gives him the opportunity to serve them and thus earns Allah's pleasure. He will receive success, especially the supreme success in Paradise if he follows Allah's commandment to be dutiful to his parents.

This means that if we can raise our children, teach them knowledge of Islam or give them proper Islamic education by sending them to Islamic schools, we will be expecting them to take care of us especially during our old age - the time when we will be needing them most. They will to take care of us when we are weak and old as important members of their families and not to let us just stay in other's houses or at any home of the aged. Most of all, they will include us in their daily prayers, which is the best thing that they can give us.

If we raise them to be righteous and they pray for our salvation then we attain ultimate success in the Life-Hereafter.

Therefore, we must give importance to the acquisition of Islamic knowledge and impart the same to our children so that they will pray for our success.

We must know that Islam teaches us to show goodness to our parents by including them in our daily prayers that Allah I will forgive them and grant them Mercy:

"O my Rabb! Make me one who performs prayers and (also) from my offspring, our Rabb! And accept my invocation. Our Rabb! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established." (14:40-41)

"O my Rabb! Bestow on them (my parents) Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." (17:24)

"My Rabb! Forgive me and my parents and anyone who enters my home as a believer. And to the disbelievers, grant no increase but destruction." (71:28)

When we guide our children to Islam, they become righteous Muslims whose prayers, to Allah for our own benefit, continue to reach us even after we die. The Prophet, peace be upon Him, says in the following Hâdîth:

"A man will be raised some degrees in Paradise and he will say, 'For what reason I am receiving this?' He will be told, 'Because of your son asking forgiveness for you.'"

"When a man dies, accrual of merit in his favor from good deeds ceases except from three actions:
1. A charity which continues after his death;
2. Knowledge left behind from which men continue to benefit, and
3. Righteous offspring who pray for him."

Knowing the importance of Islamic knowledge, it is imperative that we encourage our children to spend time acquiring it. We must remember that one of the characteristics of a believer is love for the search of knowledge. The following hadith should inspire us and our children to continuously seek for Islamic knowledge:

Allah's Messenger r said, "A believer is never satiated with gainful knowledge; he goes acquiring it till his death and entry into Paradise."

We must also guide our children to be prompt in doing good deeds, which will increase our faith and subsequently enable us to gain Allah's pleasure and mercy. We have to remember that on the day of judgment we shall be asked how we spent our lives, wealth and knowledge. In other words, we will be questioned on how we spent everything that Allah has given us as implied in the following hadith:

"A man shall be asked concerning five things on the day of resurrection: concerning his life, how he spent it; concerning his youth, how he grew old; concerning his wealth, whence he acquired it, and in what way he spent it; and what was it that he did with the knowledge that he had."

With Islamic knowledge that we acquire and subsequently share to our children, Insha Allah, we will be able to answer whatever questions on the Day of Judgment. We and our righteous children will pass the real tests on the Day of Reckoning.

Conclusion and Recommendations

If we want our children to be righteous and be successful Muslims, we must learn and teach our children authentic knowledge of Islam - one that is based on the Qur'an and the Sunnah (and/or the authentic ahadith of the Prophet).

For those of us who cannot teach our respective children for some reasons, who find no time or incapable to teach our own children, it is a must that we send them to standard quality Islamic schools where boys are separated from girls. If such schools are not available in our area, then we can opt for Islamic distance schooling. This alternative to formal schooling is less expensive. It even gives parents and children to be closer (i.e., binds the bond of relationship with mutual love, respect and understanding) as the parents are expected to give more time to supervise or at least guide their children's study.

Children learn more from their parents as they are spending their full time at home. They avoid mixing with the opposite sex. They also avoid the company of friends, classmates and schoolmates who may have bad influences on them. In this manner, they avoid the recurring problems prevalent among the youths such as school delinquency, drug addiction, smoking, drinking liquor, gambling, illicit sex and other social problems.

Another alternative is for us parents to hire competent Muslims teachers who can teach our children Islam during weekends. To minimize cost, we can organize weekend Islamic schools within our community by making use of the existing public schools. All we need is to make a request to the school administrator for the use of some rooms of the school buildings. If this is not possible then, we can make use of the existing mosques in the area. Aside from the formal (English and Madrasah) and/or weekend Islamic schools, we can encourage our children to seek knowledge of Islam by any of the following means:

1) attendance to Islamic lectures, forums and seminars,
2) reading books and other reading materials on Islam,
3) listening to radio and television programs on Islam,
4) buying books, booklets, magazines and other reading materials on Islam,
5) purchasing other learning media (e.g., CDs, Videos and cassette tapes) on Islam, and/or
6) giving them proper access to the Islamic reading materials available in the Internet (i.e., Islamic websites).

All these various opportunities to acquiring knowledge of Islam are blessing from Allah, Who bestows knowledge to whom He guides to Islam.

♥

The Handsome Man...

2008-05-31T17:45:00.001-04:00

Rasulullah 'alaihissalatu wassalam had said,

"When a man dies and his relatives are busy in funeral, there stands an extremely handsome man by his head. When the dead body is shrouded, that man gets in between the shroud and the chest of the deceased.

When after the burial, the people return home, two angels, Munkar and Nakeer (names of two special Angels), come in the grave and try to separate this handsome man so that they may be able to interrogate the dead man in privacy about his faith.

But the handsome man says,
"He is my companion. He is my friend. I will not leave him alone in any case. If you are appointed for interrogation, do your job. I cannot leave him until I get him admitted into the Paradise".

Thereafter he turns to his dead companion and says,
"I am the Qur'an, which you used to read, sometimes in a loud voice and sometimes in a low voice. Do not worry. After the interrogation of Munkar and Nakeer, you will have no grief."

When the interrogation is over, the handsome man arranges for him a silk bedding filled with musk."

Sayyiduna Muhammad 'alaihissalatu wassalam said,

"On the Day of Judgement, before Allah, no other intercessor will have a greater status than the Qur'an, neither a Prophet nor an angel."

D e a t h - 6

2008-05-28T16:07:00.001-04:00

Getting Prepared For Death

This world is a place where man is being trained. God charged man with many responsibilities in this world and informed him about the limits He has set for him. Provided that man observes these limits, complies with His orders and avoids prohibited acts, he will attain personal maturity and a better state of wisdom and awareness. With such attributes, a believer shows inexhaustible patience no matter what befalls him; he turns only to God and seeks help only from Him. These are the ways to revere God and to feel an inner submission to and an unbounded faith in Him. Realising the actual worth of favours bestowed by God, he expresses a deeper gratefulness to God and feels closer to Him. Consequently, he becomes an ideal believer endowed with the superior attributes of wisdom and morality. Furthermore, he becomes the type of person deserving to attain paradise, a place of perfection. But if man receives no education in the realities of the world, he fails to evince excellence of behaviour and, even when best situated from the material point of view, remains prone to all forms of failures.

Indeed, the Prophet Adam was sent to the earth to receive due training and was put to the test purposefully devised by God to prepare him for his eternal life. In the end, he became a distinguished person of superior morality and character highly praised in the Qur'an.

Man continues to be tested by countless events befalling him; his success in dealing with them earns him rewards in his eternal life, while his failure earns him punishment. Nobody knows when his period of testing will be over. In the words of the Qur'an,

"the term of every life is fixed." (Surah Al 'Imran: 145)

This term can sometimes be long, but can also sometimes be short. The truth is, however, that even the period we regard as being long rarely extends beyond 7 or 8 decades.

That is why, rather than engaging in making long-term plans, man has to be guided by the Qur'an and live by its principles, knowing that he will give an account of all his deeds in the Hereafter. Otherwise, failure to prepare oneself for the eternal life, missing the one and only opportunity granted for this purpose, and deserving hell for all eternity will be a painful situation indeed. It should never be forgotten that, the only destination of someone who is deprived of paradise forever is nowhere else but hell. That is why, every moment spent in vain in this world is a great loss and a giant step taken towards an atrocious end.

Since this is so, this fact should take precedence over everything else in this world. Just as we prepare ourselves for the possible situations which we will confront in the course of our lives, we need to devote similar and even greater efforts, to becoming prepared for the next life. That is because the one who will die will be us. We will experience everything which will happen after death all alone. Therefore, this subject directly concerns "us", in other words, "ourselves". To those seeking eternal salvation, God commands the following :

"You who have faith! Have fear of God and let each self look to what it has sent forward for tomorrow. Have fear of God. God is aware of what you do. Do not be like those who have forgotten God, so that He has made them forget themselves. Such people are evil-doers."

(Surah al-Hashr: 18-19)

D e a t h - 5

2008-05-21T12:23:00.001-04:00

The Situation Of Those In This World And The Hereafter Who Do Not Take Lessons From Death.

The majority of people have an inadequate conception of death. "Death is the moment life ends," is one of these. Take one step further however, and one will comprehend that death is the moment the next life starts. This ill-informed outlook makes disbelievers compress everything they want into the very short time of this life. That is why, those who do not come to realise the truth of the Hereafter want to make the most of this life without giving it a second thought. Not making a distinction between right and wrong, they seek to satisfy all their tastes in this world. This stance is essentially based upon the notion that death will put an end to all the joys and pleasures of this world. Believing that they still have long years ahead of them, they chase after long-term plans. They consider themselves to be very intelligent while they think believers, who have an unshakeable faith in God and the Hereafter and thus prepare themselves for it, are unwise. This is one of the most classical methods employed by Satan to deceive man. God draws our attention to this "deceptive method" in the following verse :

"Those who have turned back to unbelief after God's guidance has been revealed to them, are seduced by Satan who has filled them with false hopes." (Surah Muhammad: 25)

"He makes promises to them and fills them with false hopes. But what Satan promises them is nothing but delusion." (Surah an-Nisa': 120)

Amassing fortune in this world as if life would last forever, disbelievers perceive life as a competition. All throughout their lives, they take pride in possessions and children. This pride gives them a sense of artificial superiority, which causes them to drift completely away from the thought of the Hereafter. However, the following verses disclose where they are destined for because of this great delusion :

"Do they imagine that, in the wealth and children We give to them, We are hastening to them with good things? No indeed, but they have no awareness." (Surah al-Mu'minun: 55-56)

"Do not let their wealth and children impress you. Through them God merely wants to punish them during their life in the world and for them to expire while they are unbelievers." (Surah at-Tawbah: 55)

God gives man many warnings and messages to make him ponder upon death and the Hereafter. In one verse, God draws attention to the trials given as a warning to man :

"Do they not see that they are tried once or twice in every year? But still they do not turn back. They do not pay heed." (Surah at-Tawbah: 126)

Indeed, the majority of people encounter various trials, so that they may frequently ask for forgiveness and take heed. These may take place very rarely, once or twice in a year, as mentioned in the verse. Alternatively, they may be small, daily troubles. Man witnesses accidents, deaths or injuries. Newspapers abound in stories of death and obituaries. In the face of such events, man should remember that calamities can at any time befall him and at any moment his testing period may end. Such an awareness makes one sincerely turn to God, seek refuge in Him and ask for forgiveness from Him.

The lessons believers draw from the adversity they encounter are abiding. Yet, the same events have a totally different impact on disbelievers. Being terrified by the thought of death, disbelievers turn their backs on the reality of death or simply try to forget it. In doing this, they seek relief.

A heedless person, who does not take a lesson even when death befalls someone very close to him, becomes very sincere towards his Creator, when he himself encounters death. This psychology is related in the Qur'an as follows :

"It is He Who guides them on both land and sea so that, when some of them are in a boat, running before a fair wind, rejoicing at it, and then a violent squall comes upon them and the waves come at them from every side and they realise there is no way of escape, they call on God, making their religion sincerely His: 'If You rescue us from this, we will truly be among the thankful.'" (Surah Yunus: 22)

However upon deliverance, these people return to their initial heedless state. Forgetting their promise, they display a low and false attitude and, while doing this, never feel the slightest pangs of conscience. Yet, this falsity will be evidence against them on the Day of Judgement:

"But then, when He does rescue them, they become rebellious in the land without any right to do so. Mankind, your rebelliousness is only against yourselves. Take your enjoyment in the life of the world and then you will return to Us and We will inform you about what you did." (Surah Yunus: 23)

Desperately, man re-attempts to do the same at the moment of death. Yet, the time predetermined for him is already over:

"If only you could see the evil-doers hanging their heads in shame before their Lord: 'Our Lord, we have seen and we have heard, so send us back again and we will act rightly. Truly, we are now firm believers.' ...(It will be said to them): 'So taste this. Because you forgot the meeting of this Day, We have forgotten you too. Taste the eternal punishment for your misdeeds.'" (Surah as-Sajdah: 12-14)

The same unyielding efforts will continue also in hell:

"There they will cry out: 'Our Lord! take us out! We will act rightly, differently from the way we used to act!' 'Did We not let you live long enough for anyone who was going to pay heed to pay heed? And did not the warner come to you? Taste this then! There is no helper for the wrongdoers." (Surah al-Fatir: 37)

These hopeless strivings in the Hereafter and the painful end are surely the results of man's scant acknowledgement of the actual purpose of his existence on earth and of his value.

One who has no faith does not take lessons from the happenings around him, does not listen to the warnings sent by God, feigns ignorance of the voice of his conscience or flouts it, and sees death as an unlikely event for himself. He complies with the wishes of the wicked side of his soul rather than seeking God's pleasure. All these eventually pave the way for death to seize him suddenly and make him fall into the desperate situation depicted in the above verses. Thus, before death comes upon one, one should wake up from the deep sleep of heedlessness, since the moment of death is too late for such a recovery.

"Give from what We have provided for you before death comes to one of you and he says, 'My Lord, if only you would give me a little more time so that I can give alms and be one of the righteous!' But God will not give anyone more time, once their time has come. God is aware of what you do." (Surah al-Munafiqun: 10-11)

A person of intelligence should constantly dwell upon death rather than keep avoiding the thought of it. Only thus can he act in compliance with God's will and prevent the wicked side of his soul and Satan from deceiving him with this fleeting life. Indeed, making the life of this world one's only goal is the greatest danger for people. Our Prophet (pbuh) also reminded the believers of this with his supplication "let not worldly affairs be our greatest care of all that we know about." (Ibn Umar & Al-Tirmizi)

D e a t h - 4

2008-05-19T16:00:00.001-04:00

The Temporary Life Of This World

(Source : harunyahya.com)

Have you ever thought why does man need to devote so much time and effort to keeping his body clean? Why does an unclean body, a foul-smelling mouth, greasy skin or hair seem so unbecoming? Why does man sweat and why is the odour accompanying sweat so disturbing?

Unlike man, plants have extremely pleasant odours. A rose or a carnation never stinks, despite the fact that it grows in soil and remains in an environment of dust and dirt. However, man can hardly achieve such a permanent fragrance, no matter how much he cares for his body.

Have you ever thought why man is created with so many weaknesses? Why God created flowers with beautiful fragrances but made the human body prone to produce an unpleasant scent?

The weaknesses of man are not limited to body odours: he gets tired and hungry, feels weak, gets injured, becomes nauseated, sick...

All these may seem to be ordinary to man, yet it has a deceiving aspect. It could well be that a bad odour never came from the body. Likewise, one might never suffer from a headache or fall sick. All these weaknesses of man happen not by "coincidence" but are created by God on purpose. God assigned man a particular goal and intentionally made him weak.

Such a strategy serves two purposes : First, to make man realise that he is a weak being, a "servant" of God. Being perfect is an attribute of God. His servants, on the other hand, are infinitely frail and thus inherently in need of their Creator. This is explained in the Qur'an as follows :

"Mankind! You are the poor in need of God, whereas God is the Rich Beyond Need, the Praiseworthy. If He wills He can dispense with you and bring about a new creation. That is not difficult for God." (Surah al-Fatir: 15-17)

Weaknesses of the human body continuously remind man of his weaknesses. Man may consider himself to be a superior and perfect being. Yet, the fact that he needs to go to the restroom everyday and what he experiences there make him recognise his true self.

The second purpose is to remind man of the temporary nature of this life. That is because these weaknesses are peculiar to the body in this world. In the Hereafter, the Companions of the Garden will be endowed with a perfect body. The poor, imperfect and weak body in this world is not the actual body of the believer but a temporary mould he remains in for a certain period.

That is why, in this world perfect beauty is never attainable. The most physically attractive, perfect and beautiful person also goes to restroom, sweats, has bad breath in the mornings and now and then suffers from acne. One needs to involve oneself in endless routines to keep clean and fresh. Some people have pretty faces but lack shapely bodies. There are also cases in which just the contrary is true. Some have beautiful eyes but a big nose. There are countless such examples. A person with outwardly perfect looks might be suffering from a serious disease.

Over and above this, even the most perfect-looking person ultimately grows old and dies. In an unexpected traffic accident, his body might be irremediably injured. It is not only the human body which is imperfect, flawed and temporary in this world. All flowers fade, the most delicious food decays and goes bad. All these are peculiar to this world. The short life in this world granted to us as well as this body are temporary favours bestowed by God. An eternal life and a perfect creation are possible only in the Hereafter. As the Qur'an puts it:

"Whatever you have been given is only the enjoyment of the life of the world. What is with God is better and longer lasting for those who have faith and trust in their Lord." (Surah ash-Shura: 36)

In another verse the real essence of the world is explained as follows :

"Know that the life of the world is merely a game and a diversion, ostentation and a cause of boasting among yourselves, and a quest to outdo one another in wealth and children. It is like the plants which flourish after rain: this delights the cultivators, but then they wither and you see them turning yellow, and then they become broken stubble. In the Hereafter a terrible punishment awaits you but also forgiveness from God and His good pleasure. The life of the world is nothing but the enjoyment of delusion." (Surat al-Hadid: 20)

In brief, in this world, God, as a sign of His infinite might and knowledge, creates many beautiful and wonderful things as well as many flawed things. Permanence and excellence are against the laws of this world. Nothing the human mind can imagine, including advanced technology, will ever change this law of God. This is so that people may strive to attain the Hereafter and show due respect and gratefulness to God. It is also so that people may realise that the actual place of these favours is not this temporary world, but the eternal abode prepared for believers. In the Qur'an, this is alluded to as follows:

"Yet still you prefer the life of the world when the Hereafter is better and longer lasting." (Surah al-A'la: 16-17)

Another verse says:

"The abode of the Hereafter - that is truly Life if they only knew." (Surah al-Ankabut: 64)

There is a very thin border between this world, which is a temporary abode, and our actual life, the Hereafter. Death is the instrument which raises this curtain. By death, man will break off all his relations with his body and this world; he will start his eternal life with his newly created body.

Since the real life is the one beginning with death, the real laws of nature are those pertaining to the Hereafter. Flaws, imperfections and impermanence are the laws of this world, yet they are not real and unchanging laws. The real laws are formulated on the principles of infiniteness, excellence and immortality.

In other words, what is normal is a non-fading flower, a never-ageing man, a never-decaying fruit. The actual laws entail the instant realisation of every wish of man or the removal of pain and diseases, or even sweating or feeling cold. However, temporary laws are in effect in this temporary life, while the actual laws are binding upon the next life. All the imperfections and flaws we come across in this world exist through the deliberate distortion of the actual laws.

The abode of the actual laws, namely the Hereafter, is not far away, as is assumed. God can end the life of man at any moment He wills it and makes him pass to the Hereafter. This transition will occur in a very short period; in the blink of an eye. This is similar to waking up from a dream.

When death comes, dreams come to an end and man starts his actual life. Man, who remained on earth for a period as short as "the blink of an eye" comes into the presence of God to give an account of his deeds in this world. If he has kept death in his mind all throughout his life and lived to attain God's approval, he will be saved.

D e a t h - 3

2008-05-17T00:02:00.001-04:00

The Death of the Body (As Witnessed from the Outside)

At the moment of death, as the soul leaves the dimension the human being lives in, it leaves behind the lifeless body. As in the case of living beings changing their skins, it leaves behind the outer casing and proceeds towards its real life.

However, the story of the "casing" which remains here in this world is important, especially for those who attach more importance to the body in this life than it actually deserves.

Have you ever thought in detail about what would befall this "casing" when one dies?

One day you will die. Maybe in a way you have never expected. While going to the grocery to buy bread, a car will hit you. Or, a fatal disease will bring your life to an end. Or, simply, your heart will stop beating for no reason at all.

So, you will begin tasting death.

From then on, you will have no relation with your body whatsoever. That body, which you have assumed to be "yourself" all your life, will turn into an ordinary heap of flesh. With your death, your body will be carried by other people. There will be people around weeping and mourning. Then that body will be carried to the morgue, where it will remain for a night. The next day, the burial operations will start. The lifeless body, now very rigid, will be washed all over with cold water. Meanwhile, the traces of death will start to appear and some parts of the body will turn purple.

Then, the body will be wrapped in a shroud and put in a wooden coffin. Proceeding towards the graveyard, life will be as always on the streets. Seeing that a hearse is passing by, some people will show respect, but the majority will go on with their daily tasks. At the graveyard, the coffin will be carried by those who love you or by those who seem to love you. Most probably, there will again be people around weeping and mourning. Then, people will arrive at the inescapable destination : the grave.

On the marble stone, your name will be inscribed. Your corpse will be taken out of the coffin and placed in the pit. Prayers will be said for you. Finally, people with shovels will start to cover your body with soil. Soil will also be thrown into the shroud. It will fill your mouth, throat, eyes and nose. Then the soil will gradually cover your shroud. Soon, the funeral will be over and people will leave the grave.

Then, the graveyard will return to its deep silence. Those attending the funeral will go on with their everyday lives and for your buried body, life will no longer be meaningful. A beautiful house, a pretty person, a breathtaking landscape will mean nothing. Your body will never meet a friend again. From then on, the only certainty for the body will be the soil and the worms and bacteria inhabiting it...

Soon after you are placed in the grave, the bacteria and insects proliferating in the corpse due to the absence of oxygen will start to function. The gases released from these organisms will inflate the body, starting from the abdomen, altering its shape and appearance. Bloody froth will issue from the mouth and nose due to the pressure of gases on the diaphragm. As corruption proceeds, body hair, nails, soles, and palms will fall off.

Accompanying this outer alteration in the body, internal organs such as lungs, heart and liver will also decay. In the meantime, the most horrible scene takes place in the abdomen, where the skin can no longer bear the pressure of gases and suddenly bursts, spreading an unendurable disgusting smell.

Starting from the skull, muscles will became detached from their particular places. Skin and soft tissues will completely disintegrate. The brain will decay and start looking like clay. This process will go on until the whole body is reduced to a skeleton.

Your body, you think to be yourself, will thus disappear in a terrible and disgusting manner. While those you leave behind carry out the customary rituals, worms, insects and bacteria in the soil will eat the body away.

This is the way, a human being's life, created in "the best of forms", comes to the most horrible end possible.

Why?

It is surely by the Will of God that the body ceases to exist in such a drastic way. That it does so actually carries a very important inner message in itself. The terrible end awaiting man should make him acknowledge that he is not a body himself, but a soul "encased" within a body.

In other words, man has to acknowledge that he has an existence beyond his body. Such a striking end, with its many lessons, is made ready for man so that he may understand that he is not mere "flesh and bones".

D e a t h - 2

2008-05-13T20:13:00.001-04:00

The Actual Death And What Is Observed About Death

The Death of the Soul (The Actual Death)

Have you ever thought about how you will die, what death looks like and what will happen at the moment of death?

So far, nobody has appeared who died and was raised again and who could share his actual experiences and feelings about death. This being the case, it is, technically, impossible to gather information regarding what death is like and what one feels at the moment of death.

God, the One who bestows life upon man and takes it back in due course, informs us in the Qur'an about how death actually occurs. Thus, the Qur'an is the only source from which we can learn about how death really occurs and what someone who dies actually experiences and feels.

Death, as referred in the Qur'an, is quite unlike the "medical death" people observe from outside.

Primarily, certain verses acquaint us with events as seen by the dying person himself, which can never be perceived by others. This is related in the Surah al-Waqi'ah:

"Why then, when death reaches his throat and you are at that moment looking on- We are nearer to him than you, but you cannot see."
(Surah al-Waqi'ah: 83-85)

Unlike the disbelievers' death, that of the believers is blissful :

"...the angels reclaim the souls of the just, saying: (to believers) 'Peace be upon you! Enter the Garden as a reward for your labours.'"
(Surah an-Nahl: 32)

These verses disclose a very important and unchanging fact about death. At the moment of death, what the dying person goes through and what those nearby observe are dissimilar experiences. For instance, a person who spent his entire life as an unyielding disbeliever may be perceived to experience a "peaceful death" from outside. However, the soul, in a totally different dimension now, tastes death in a very painful way. Alternatively, the soul of a believer, despite seemingly suffering great pain, leaves his body "in a virtuous state".

In brief, the "medical death of the body" and the death of the soul, which is referred to in the Qur'an, are totally different events.

Being unaware of this truth with which the Qur'an acquaints us, disbelievers, who assume death to be an eternal and peaceful sleep, also seek ways to make the moment of death painless and comfortable. The consequences of such a misconception are clearly to be seen in the examples of those who commit suicide by taking pills, inhaling natural gas or resorting to a painless form of death to escape a painful disease.

As mentioned earlier, the death "tasted" by disbelievers is a great source of torment for them, while it turns out to be bliss for believers. The Qur'an gives a detailed account of the difficulty the disbelievers undergo while their souls are taken away, because of the way angels deal with the soul of a disbeliever at the moment of death :

"How will it be when the angels take them in death, beating their faces and their backs? That is because they followed what angers God and hated what is pleasing to Him. So He made their actions come to nothing."
(Surah Muhammad: 27-28)

In the Qur'an there is also reference to the "throes of death," which are actually the result of the angels giving the news of eternal torment at the moment of death :

"...If you could only see the wrongdoers in the throes of death when the angels are stretching out their hands, saying, 'Yield up your souls. Today you will be repaid with the punishment of humiliation for saying something other than the truth about God, and being arrogant about His Signs.'"
(Surat al-An'am: 93)

"If only you could see when the angels take back those who were disbelievers when they died, beating their faces and their backs: 'Taste the punishment of the Burning! That is for what you did. God does not wrong His slaves.'"
(Surat al-Anfal: 50-51)

As the verses make it clear, just the death of a disbeliever is an entire period of agony in itself. While people surrounding him see a seemingly untroubled death in his bed, a great spiritual and physical torment begins for him. The angels of death take his soul, inflicting pain and humiliation on him. In the Qur'an, the angels who take the souls of disbelievers are described as: "those who pluck out harshly". (Surat an-Nazi'at: 1)

The last phase of how the soul is taken away is explained as follows :

"No indeed! When it (the soul) reaches the gullet and he hears the words, 'Who can heal him now?' he knows it is indeed the final parting."
(Surat al-Qiyamah: 26-28)

At this moment, the disbeliever faces the truth he denied all throughout his life. With death, he will start to suffer the consequences of his great guilt, his denial. Angels "beating their backs" and "plucking (the soul) out harshly" are only the beginning and a minor indication of the grief awaiting him.

On the contrary, death for the believer is the beginning of eternal happiness and bliss. Unlike that of the disbeliever who suffers bitterly, the soul of the believer is "drawn out gently" (Surat an-Nazi'at: 2) with the angels saying: "Peace be upon you! Enter the Garden as a reward for your labours." (Surat an-Nahl: 32) This is similar to the state of sleep. In sleep, the soul gently slips into another dimension, as the following verse indicates :

"God takes back people's selves when their death arrives and those who have not yet died, while they are asleep. He keeps hold of those whose death has been decreed and sends the others back for a specified term.."
(Surat az-Zumar: 42)

This is the ultimate truth about death. Externally, people witness only the medical death : a body gradually losing its corporeal functions. Those watching from the outside a person on the brink of death see neither his face and back being beaten, nor his soul reaching the gullet. Only the soul of the person concerned experiences these feelings and sees these images. However, the actual death is "tasted" in all of its aspects by the person dying in a dimension unfamiliar to those witnessing death from the outside. In other words, what is experienced during the course of death is a "change in dimension."

We can outline the facts revealed in the verses we have analysed so far as follows :

- Be it a believer or a disbeliever, the death of a person is neither delayed nor hastened for even an hour.

- Wherever human beings may be, death overtakes them, if their time has come.

- In the process of experiencing death, they individually receive quite different treatments, although this is externally undiscernible.

The Death of the Believer

- Being aware that death is inevitable, the believer prepares himself for death all throughout his life and ultimately passes on.

- Angels of death greet him and give him the glad tidings of paradise.

- Angels take the soul of a believer gently.

- The believer feels the need to give the glad tidings to other believers in the world that God's promise is assured and that there is neither fear nor sorrow for believers. Yet, this is not allowed.

The Death of Disbeliever

- He meets the death he has always avoided all throughout his life.

- He suffers from intense fits of shaking during the course of death.

- Angels extend their hands to him and give him the tidings of the degrading punishment of the Burning.

- Angels take him in death, beating his face and back.

- The soul is taken with a great inner pain.

- The soul is taken as it reaches the gullet and at that moment there remains no one to heal him.

- The soul is taken with difficulty while he is indulging in denial.

- At the moment of death, no expression of his faith or repentance is allowed.

(harunyahya.com)

May each of us die a believer's death..

Heart of a Muslim.

2008-05-13T02:18:00.002-04:00

By Zain Bikha.

Looking up at the sky, searching for Allah most High
He rejected the way of worshipping Gods of clay
Prophet Ebrahim knew that Allah was near
And that the heart of a Muslim is sincere

Under the hot burning sun, he declared God is one
Though with stones on his chest, his Imaan would not rest
The Muadhin knew that right would conquer wrong
And the heart of a Muslim must be strong

Chorus:
It's the heart of a Muslim through the guidance of Islam
That makes you fair and kind and helpful to your fellow man
So living as a Muslim means that you must play a part
Allah looks not at how you look, but what is in your heart

In our poor meager state, little food on our plate
Mother said she was glad, always sharing what we had
When I asked how can we share what's not enough
She said the heart of a Muslim's filled with love

He said its time you should know, you will learn as you grow
That some people around will do what's bad to bring you down
Father said to be a star that's shining bright
For the heart of a Muslim does what's right

So whatever you do, make sure your words are true
Honesty is the best, because life is a test
Even if it hurts so much you want to cry
For the heart of a Muslim does not lie

D e a t h

2008-05-12T04:10:00.002-04:00

Death may catch up with you at any time. Who knows, perhaps this is the moment. Or, it may be much closer than you have ever expected.

These lines may be the last opportunity, the last reminder, the last warning before death comes upon you. As you proceed with these lines, you can never know that you will still be alive in the next hour. Even if it proves to be so, nothing can guarantee you another hour. Let alone an hour, not even after a single moment, is it certain that you will be still living. There is no guarantee that you will ever finish reading this book. Death will, most likely, come upon you at a time when, only a moment before, you never thought about dying.

You will most certainly die, as will all your loved ones. Before you or after you, they will certainly die. A hundred years from now, there will not be a single soul you are familiar with in this world.

Endless aims pertaining to life occupy man's minds;

- to finish high school,

- to enter university,

- to graduate,

- to have a respectable occupation,

- to marry,

- to bring up children,

- to lead a peaceful life,

these are among the broadest and most ordinary plans of man. These aside, there are thousands of others devised to address one's personal circumstances.

Death is one of the few things in life certain to occur.

This is a one hundred percent certainty.

After years of hard work, a student succeeds in entering the university, yet dies on the way to class.

Someone who has recently been hired for a job loses his life on his first morning commute to his work.

A traffic accident ends the lives of a newly married couple on their wedding day.

A successful businessman prefers to fly to save time, not knowing that that very flight will put a horrible end to his life.

At such a stage, plans no longer avail. Leaving behind plans doomed to remain unfinished for all eternity, they head for a point of no return and yet it is a destination they never planned for. Ironically, for years, they spent too much time detailing plans which would never be put into operation, yet never gave a thought to the one certain thing that would happen.

How then should a man of wisdom and conscience establish his priorities? Does he have to make his plans for the one thing certain to happen or for something unlikely to happen? The majority, it is evident, give priority to goals which they can never be certain of accomplishing. No matter which phase of life they are passing through, they resolutely plan for a better and more fulfilling future.

This tendency would be quite rational, if man was immortal. Yet the fact remains that all plans are doomed to that absolute end, called death. Thus it is irrational to disregard death, which is certain to occur, and devote all one's attention to all those things which may or may not materialize.

Yet, owing to an incomprehensible spell enslaving their minds, human beings fail to notice this obvious fact.

This being the case, they can never become acquainted with their real life which is due to start with death. They simply do not prepare themselves for it. Once they are resurrected, they head nowhere but hell, a place specially designed for them.

Avoiding thinking about death cannot, by any means, provide a solution . . .

end of Halaqah season 1

2008-04-30T10:44:00.002-04:00

April 27, 2008
Darul Furqan
5 pm

it ended at 10 pm instead of 7 pm.
well what do you expect when lovers meet?

i love all of you.
i love all of you for the sake of Allah.

♥

coming up in June, insyaAllah :

SEASON 2 OF THE HALAQAH

ARABIC LANGUAGE COACHING
available on both one-to-one and small group basis.
for all ages.
female only.

♥ stay tuned! ♥

Friday.

2008-04-11T06:12:00.002-04:00

It was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

"The best of your days is Friday.

On that day Adam (peace be upon him) was created;
on that day he died;
on that day the Trumpet will be blown
and on that day all of creation will swoon.

So send a great deal of blessings upon me, for your blessings will be shown to me."

They said, "O Messenger of Allah, how will our blessings upon you be shown to you when you have turned to dust?"

He said, "Allah has forbidden the earth to consume the bodies of the Prophets, peace be upon them."

(Abu Dawood; Classed as saheeh by Ibn al-Qayyim in his comments on Sunan Abi Dawood, 4/273; and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 925.)

By Habib Ali Muhammad Al-Habshi

2008-03-31T13:11:00.003-04:00

Souls fly with the wings of love
Towards their high world
Towards their place of origin
Roaming in the meadows of heaven
Residing in illuminated lanterns
Flying without feathers
Then stopping in the presence of God, Lord of the Worlds
Wandering in the garden hills of holiness
Drinking from the sea of the gnostics

O soul! Are you content to remain forever
In this dark and muddy body?
Where were you first, before becoming its inhabitant?
Were you not once in the Holy Presence?
You must remember that.
You resided with the angels honorable
Drinking from the well of intimacy and picking its fruits
until finally you were placed
On the command of God, in this prison
To test you
So be the best of those who are tested.

Source : http://www.fazilmunir.com/BaAlawi.html

Wisdoms.

2008-03-06T08:42:00.002-05:00

Ibn Mas'ood said,

"I feel that indeed someone will forget knowledge they had a acquired because of sins they commit."

Allah ta'ala teaches us in the Qur'an:

"[Be conscious of Allah and Allah will teach you.] This knowledge is from Allah ta'ala, a gift. It makes no sense that someone spends their nights disobeying the gift-giver while awaiting His gifts in the morning."

Al-Khateeb reported in al-Jaami' that Yahya ibn Yahya said:

"A man asked Maalik ibn Anas, 'O Abu 'Abd-Allaah! Is there anything that will improve my memory?'

Maalik ibn Anas, rahimahullah, replied,

"If anything will improve it, it is giving up sin."

Ibn 'Abbas (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Messenger of Allah 'alaihissalatu wassalam said, "The heart that has no Qur'an in it is like an abandoned ruined dwelling."

[At-Tirmidhi].

'Abdullah bin 'Amr bin Al-'As, may Allah be pleased with them, reported: The Prophet 'alaihissalatu wassalam said,

"The one who was devoted to the Qur'an will be told on the Day of Resurrection: 'Recite and ascend (in ranks) as you used to recite when you were in the world. Your rank will be at the last verse you recite."

[Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi].

♥

The Cure for Sins.

2007-11-25T06:21:00.000-05:00

One day our khalifah, Ali ibn Abu Talib, upon him be peace, was passing through the streets of Basra when he saw a large circle of men around a dignified hakim (a doctor), sitting on a chair, dispensing cures for the ills of the people who had gathered around him.

The Imam approached him and asked, "What is your cure for sin, because people have despaired of finding that cure?"

The young hakim looked down at the ground without an answer but Imam Ali asked a second time, and then a third time.

The hakim lifted his head and said, "May Allah bless you. Do you know of the cure for sins?"

The Imam said, "Yes. Here it is ..."

"Go to the Garden of Iman and extract from it...

the roots of intention,

the grains of repentance,

the leaves of reflection,

the seed of cautiousness,

the fruit of understanding,

the branches of certainty,

the kernels of sincerity,

the bark of diligence,

the roots of trustful dependence,

the calyx* of taking heed,

the stem of returning,

and the nectar of humility.

Take all these remedies with a knowledgeable heart and fingers of confirmation and palm of success.

Then put them all in a bowl of realization and wash them all with the waters of tears.

Next place them in the pot of hope and set it on the fire of yearning until you see the cream of wisdom float up.

Then pour the contents onto plates of contentment, and cool them with the fan of seeking forgiveness.

There you will have a perfect drink as a perfect gift from Allah, glory be to Him, which will remove all your sins."

(* outer protective leaves of flowers)

Seven Advices of Jalaluddin ar-Rumi

2007-11-06T23:40:00.000-05:00

1. In generosity and helping others, be like a river.

2. In compassion and grace be like the sun.

3. In concealing others' faults, be like the night.

4. In anger and fury be like one who is dead.

5. In modesty and humility, be like the earth.

6. In tolerance, be like a sea.

7. Either exist as you are, or be as you look.

The objectives of Ramadhan fasting.

2007-09-09T13:23:00.000-04:00

1. To get rid of bad habits :

Ramadan Fasting demands the strict and solid resolution to submit oneself to a special diet which, often corrects habits, harmful to the health, that we may get into, during the running year, thus to comply with a severely regulated diet and some bad habits, as a self-willed sacrifice. This is why we notice that the Holy Quran mentions patience, tolerance, will, and perseverance as being synonyms of fasting.

2. To suffer hunger thus feel the difficult life of the poor :

This endurance provokes in ourselves the feeling of association with their sorrows and deprivations. This feeling, so humane and compassionate, is much more expressive than a whole series of well-prepared speeches or well-organized public demonstrations. The rich people who never experience deprivation, discover, through fasting, the hardship imposed on needy people. Then, their hearts become more tractable, and their hands, will exercise generosity and charity towards the needy.

3. To Appreciate God's beyond measure donations :

The daylight is never enough estimated unless we endure the night darkness. Also we cannot know the real value of happiness until we lose it. So when we fast, we suffer hunger, thirst and deprivation of so many other leisure's we used to enjoy before fasting. Then, we effectively evaluate the life comforts Mighty God has gifted us with.

4. To discover the sanitary advantages :

Dr. Alexis Karlil, in his book says: The exaggerated variety of our meals, their excessive quantities and assortments, make the alimentary regulating in the human life become ineffective. With the legislation of Fasting by all religions the humanity has known to attract notice to thousands, even millions of human beings who never know satiety. Moreover, fasting activates the blood circulation and purifies heart and soul. Besides, the modern medicine has proved that fasting is a remedy for diseases that affect the man of this century because of overeating and the variety of canned food. In this case, fasting is as being a treatment, and even a preventive at the same time.

5. Recalling of evident return to God :

In fact, Ramadan fasting is a stage where the human being is the closest to God. The fasting period, Ramadan is a time when one submits to spiritual and social changes.

6. One acquires loyalty, honesty and sincerity to God, by fasting :

Ramadan fasting is a confidential act which occurs between the human being and his Creator. This act must be impregnated with full sincerity and the deepest loyalty. Now in case fasting loses its honesty, it becomes a hypocrisy.

7. Regulating habit :

By Ramadan fasting, we acquire the habit of punctuality. We breakfast at fixed time, and we abstain from eating and drinking at a strict and special time. Moreover, becoming accustomed to regulations leads to the respect of time, of word and promise, and so one becomes trustworthy, well estimated, able to carry out one's responsibilities, and to fulfill one's social duties.

8. Spreading assistance and mutual help in the society :

Ramadan fasting inspires love and tightens links among the family members who live the whole fasting period in the same routine which approaches them to God. Habits change automatically during the period, and the family members meet in the evenings to say prayers appropriated to this holy occasion. The morals and fruitful consequences of fasting extend to the vast society, where collaboration between its members, and decent behavior are demonstrated. Charity and mutual help occupy a remarkable place, and brotherhood and equality triumph, which that is, the most human acts and the holiest purpose of the fasting.

(http://www.ezsoftech.com/ramadan/ramadan11.asp)

Preparing for Ramdhan - a link to share.

2007-09-07T13:24:00.000-04:00

(http://www.islamicity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=6154&PN=1)

Ten tips to prepare your family for Ramadhan.

2007-09-06T13:00:00.000-04:00

01. Buy all necessities for the month of Ramadan before Ramadan so you can spend less time during the holy month rushing around. You can be more focused on your religious rituals and spiritual development. Everyone in the family, even the kids, can participate, writing a shopping list, preparing some meals to be stored in the freezer.

02. If you have gotten into bad sleeping habits throughout the year, start readjusting now so you can wake up for Fajr prayer.

03. Sunnah fasts of Sha'aban (the month before Ramadan) help to prepare for Ramadan and help to make the transition into the holy month a smooth one.

04. Reduce TV watching and prepare the family for the new spirit of Ramadan. Engage with your kids more and more in creative activities that remind them of Ramadan. (Suggested activities including reading the moral story books in group).

05. Organize your tape/CD collection to make it easy to select and to play nice nasheed to sing along together or Quran and Dua recitation, so as to introduce the spirit of the month gradually.

06. Plan ahead for the time you are spend at home in order not to lose the balance between your responsibility as a parent to supervise the children's studies and your engagement in religious practices such as reading Quran and Salat.

07. Plan ahead if your daughter needs a hijab to accompany you to the mosque. If possible, get shoes for the kids that are easy to tie when they leave the mosque. Do you or the kids need prayer rugs for prayer? Plan transportation to the mosque and back home.

08. Prepare as much cooking as you can before Ramadan.

09. If you are planning to invite guests for Iftar, the best time to do that is during your monthly period (menstruation). This has several advantages:

You will be able to taste the food that is going to be served.

You won't be engaged in some acts of worship so you'll have more time for cooking.

You won't have guilt feelings for staying after 'Isha' with the guests and not going to the mosque.

10. Prepare your kids before Ramadan that they have to help you more in housework and in setting the table and preparing the Iftar. Relate their action with the notion of Sadaqah and good deeds. Remind them that the reward of their good deeds is multiplied during Ramadan.

(Adopted from islamonline.net with slight modifications.)

Rasulullah's sermon on welcoming the month of Ramadhan.

2007-09-05T12:53:00.000-04:00

"O people! The month of Allah (Ramadhan) has approached you with His mercy and blessings. This is the month that is the best of all months in the estimation of Allah. Its days are the best among the days; its nights are the best among the nights. Its hours are the best among the hours.

This is a month in which he has invited you. You have been, in this month, selected as the recipients of the honors of Allah, the Merciful. In this holy month, when you breathe, it has the thawab (heavenly reward) of 'Tasbeeh' (the praise of Allah on rosary beads), and your sleep has the thawab of worship.

Your good deeds are accepted in this month. So are your invocations. Therefore, you must invoke your Lord, in right earnest, with hearts that are free from sins and evils, that Allah may bless you, observe fast, in this month, and recite the Holy Quran.

Verily! The person who may not receive the mercy and benevolence of Allah in this month must be very unfortunate having an end as bad (in the Hereafter). While fasting, remember the hunger and thirst of tomorrow in Qiyamat. Give alms to the poor and the needy. Pay respects to your elders.

Have pity on those younger than you and be kind towards your relatives and kinsmen. Guard your tongues against unworthy words, and your eyes from such scenes that are not worth seeing (forbidden) and your ears from such sounds that should not be heard by you.

Be kind to orphans so that when your children become orphans they also may be treated with kindness. Do invoke that Allah may forgive your sins. Do raise your hands at the time of Salat (Prayers), as it is the best time for asking His mercy. When we invoke at such times, we are answered by Him, when we call Him, He responds, and when we ask for anything, it is accepted by Him.

O People! You have made your conscience the slave of your desires; make it free by invoking Him for Istighfar (repentance/forgiveness). Your back is breaking under the heavy load of your sins, so prostrate before Him for long intervals and make it lighter.

Do understand fully well that Allah has promised in the name of His Majesty and Honor that He will not take to task such people who fast and offer Salat in this month and perform 'sajda' (prostration), and will guard their bodies against the Fire of Hell on the Day of Judgment.

O People! If anybody amongst you arranges for the Iftar (food for the ending of the fast) of any believer, then Allah will give him a reward as if he has set free a slave. He will forgive his minor sins.

Then the companions of Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "But everybody amongst us does not have the means to do so?"

Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) told them : - Keep yourself away from the Fire of Hell, by inviting for 'Iftar', though it may consist of only half a date or simply with water if you have nothing else.

O People! Anybody who may cultivate good manners in this month will walk over the 'Siraat' (Bridge) in 'Qiyamat', though his feet may be shaking.

Anybody who in this month may take light work from his servants (male or female), Allah will make easy his accounting on the Day of Judgment.

Anybody who does not tease others in this month, Allah will keep him safe from His wrath in Qiyamat. Anybody, who respects and treats an orphan with kindness in this month, Allah shall look at him with dignity in Qiyamat. Anybody who treats well his kinsmen, in this month, Allah will bestow His mercy on him in Qiyamat, while anybody who maltreats his kinsmen in this month, Allah will keep him away from His mercy, in Qiyamat.

Whoever offers 'Sunnat' (Recommended) prayers in this month, Allah will give him a certificate of freedom from Hell. Whosoever offers one 'Wajib' Salat in this month, for him the Angels will write the rewards of 70 such prayers, which were offered by him in any other months.

Whosoever recites repeatedly 'Salat and salam (Salawat)' on me, Allah will keep the scales of his deeds heavy, when in Qiyamat the scales of others will be tending towards lightness.

Whosoever recites in this month only one 'Ayat' (verse of the Holy Quran), he will be rewarded in a manner as if he had recited the full Holy Quran in the other months.

O People! The Gates of Paradise remain opened in this month. Do invoke that the gates may not be closed on you, while the Gates of Hell are closed. Do invoke that these gates may never be opened. During this month Shaytan (Saten) is imprisoned so ask your Lord not to let him have power over you."

allahumma salli 'ala sayyidina muhammad, wa 'alaa aali sayyidina muhammad.

♥

What you miss in Ramadan cannot be compensated for all year long.

♥

This is a month in which you have been invited by Allah.

Allah is sending each of you an invitation card not like any other, since this one is from the Quran. "O you who believe, fasting is prescribed for you, as it was prescribed for those before you, so that you may guard (against evil). The month of Ramadan is that in which the Quran was revealed, a guidance to men and clear proofs of the guidance and the distinction."

This is the invitation card but it is not inviting to food and drink, it is inviting to a banquet of mercy, blessings, and forgiveness. You have been, in this month, selected as the recipients of honors of Allah, the Merciful.

♥

What better honor could there be. If all people honor you but Allah despises you, it will be all worthless. You are being honored in this month, by Allah's call to come to Him and receive His blessings and forgiveness when nothing could save you, except your good deeds.

♥

(http://english.bayynat.org.lb/islamicinsights/ramadan2.htm)
(http://www.ezsoftech.com/ramadan/ramadan00.asp)

The 15th of Syaaban

2007-08-26T03:51:00.000-04:00

O Allah! You shower favours on everyone
And no one can do You any favour.
O The Possessor of Majesty and Honour,
O The Distributor of bounty and rewards,
There is no one worthy of worship except You.
You help the fallen
And provide refuge to the refugees And give peace to those who are in fear.

O Allah! If in the Mother of All Books that is with You
You have written me down as someone who is
Doubtful of achieving salvation, or deprived,
Or rejected or without enough sustenance,
Then, O Allah, with Your Grace
Remove all of these misfortunes from me
and in the Mother of All Books that is with You,
establish me as someone who is
blessed, with abundant provision and charitable good deeds.
Indeed, what You said in The Book You sent
Through the tongue of Your Blessed Prophet is true
That Allah changes and establishes what He wants
And with Him is the Mother of All Books.

O My Lord! For the sake of Your Divine Manifestation
On this fifteenth night of the blessed month of Sha'ban
In which You issue all Wise and Irrevocable Decrees
Remove from us all calamities and hardships,
those that we know about as well as those that we don't,
while You know everything.
Truly, You are the Most Powerful, Most Generous.

And may Allah the Exalted shower blessings and peace on
Sayyidina Muhammad, and on his family and his companions
And all praise is for Allah, Lord of the worlds.

(http://www.iqra.net/Dua/shaban.php)

♥

The Night of nisf (mid) Shaaban

Various Islamic scholars have recommended special worshiping during the night of 15th of Shaaban. This is based on the saying of prophet Muhammad 'alaihissalatu wassalam, the meaning of which is that during the night of 15th of Shaaban, Allah will say,

"Is there any person repenting so that I forgive him, and any person seeking provision so that I provide for him, and any person with distress so that I relieve him," and so on until dawn.

This is the night occurring between 14th and 15th day of Shaban. Traditions of Prophet Muhammad 'alaihissalatu wassalam show that it is a meritorious night in which the people of the earth are attended by special Divine Mercy.

On the Night of 15th Shaban, after Maghrib or Isha prayer it is traditional practice to read Surah Yasin and make special supplications for good health, protection from calamities and increased Iman.

According to tradition this night has special blessings that are directed towards the faithful. Therefore, as much as possible, this night should be spent in worship and total submission to Allah Almighty.

Also, fasting is recommended on the day immediately following this Night, i.e. the 15th day of Shaban.

(http://www.islamicity.com/articles/printarticles.asp?ref=IC0409-2468&p=1)

The great virtue of lowering the gaze.

2007-08-15T06:51:00.000-04:00

By Imaam ibn al-Qayyim

Summarised by Alee Hasan

Allah, the Exalted said,

"Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their private parts; that will make for greater purity for them." [an-Nur]

So Allah made purification and spiritual growth to be the outcome of lowering the gaze and guarding the private parts. It is for this reason that lowering one's gaze from (seeing) the prohibited things necessarily leads to three benefits that carry tremendous value and are of great significance.

The First : Experiencing the delight and sweetness of faith.

This delight and sweetness is far greater and more desirable that which might have been attained from the object that one lowered his gaze from for the sake of Allah.

Indeed, "whosoever leaves something for the sake of Allah, the Mighty and Magnificent, will replace it with something better than it."

The soul is a temptress and loves to look at beautiful forms and the eye is the guide of the heart.

The heart commissions its guide to go and look to see what is there and when the eye informs it of a beautiful image it shudders out of love and desire for it.

Frequently such inter-relations tire and wear down both the heart and the eye.

Therefore when the sight is prevented from looking and investigating the heart finds relief from having to go through the arduous task of (vainly) seeking and desiring.

Whosoever lets his sight roam free will find that he is in a perpetual state of loss and anguish for sight gives birth to love the starting point of which is the heart being devoted and dependant upon that which it beholds.

This then intensifies to become fervent longing whereby the heart becomes totally dependant and devoted to the object of its desire.

Then this further intensifies and becomes infatuation which clings to the heart like the one seeking repayment of a debt clings firmly to the one who has to pay the debt.

Then this intensifies and becomes passionate love and this is a love that transgresses all bounds.

Then this further intensifies and becomes crazed passionand this is the love that encompasses every tiny part of the heart.

Then this intensifies and becomes worshipful love.

Hence the heart begins to worship that which is not correct for it to worship and the reason behind all of this was an illegal glance.

The heart is now bound in chains whereas before it used to be the master, it is now imprisoned whereas before it was free. It has been oppressed by the eye and it complains to it upon which the eye replies : "I am your guide and messenger and it was you who sent me in the first place!"

The Second: The Illumination of the heart, clear perception and penetrating insight.

Allah mentioned the people of Lut and what they were afflicted with and then He went on to say, "Indeed in these are signs for the Mutawassimeen." [al-Hijr]

The Mutwassimeen are those who have clear perception and penetrating insight, those who are secure from looking at the unlawful and performing indecent acts.

Allah said after mentioning the verse concerning lowering the gaze,

"Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth." [an-Nur]

The reason behind this is that the reward is of the same type as the action. So whosoever lowers his gaze from the unlawful for the sake of Allaah, the Mighty and Magnificent, He will replace it with something better than it of the same type.

So just as the servant restrained the light of his eye from falling upon the unlawful, Allah blesses the light of his sight and heart thereby making him perceive what he would not have seen and understood had he not lowered his gaze.

The Third : The heart becoming strong, firm and courageous.

Allah will give it the might of aid for its strength just as He gave it the might of clear proofs for its light. Hence the heart shall combine both of these factors and as a result, Shaytaan shall flee from it. It is mentioned in the Narration, "Whosoever opposes his base desires, the Shaytaan shall flee in terror from his shade."

This is why the one who follows his base desires shall find in himself the ignominy of the soul, its being weak, feeble and contemptible. Indeed Allah places nobility for the one who obeys Him and disgrace for the one who disobeys Him.

"So do not lose heart nor fall into despair; for you must gain mastery if you are true in faith." [Aali Imraan]

Some of the salaf said, "The people seek nobility and power at the door of the Kings and they will not find it except through the obedience of Allah."

The one who obeys Allah has taken Allah as his friend and protector and Allah will never humiliate the one who takes his Lord as friend and patron.

♥

The Messenger of Allah, 'alaihissalatu wassalam, said,

"Indeed you will not leave anything for the sake of Allah except that Allah will replace it with something better than it."

(http://www.islamtomorrow.com/everything/Lower_gaze.htm)

The Call To Islam

2007-07-31T08:27:00.000-04:00

A Muslim’s Character and Behaviour

2007-07-31T06:52:00.000-04:00

By : Yasin Syed

Sincerity, compassion and forgiveness are qualities that are very important to an individual. They form the basis of a person's character and help him or her interact with society. These values are also some of the most essential qualities that are to be present in a Muslim.

Islam teaches Muslims to beautify their character and Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala commands Muslims to reflect their religion by demonstrating a noble character and having a good personality. But in order for Muslims to possess such qualities, we must follow our beloved Prophet Muhammad 'alaihissalatu wassalam, since Allah says in the Holy Qur'an, "Surely there is for you the best example in the Messenger of Allah (that is, in Prophet Muhammad 'alaihissalatu wassalam) for whoever seeks the pleasure of Allah and the Last Day, and remembers Allah often (much)." (Verse 21, Surah Al-Ahzab).

The life of Prophet Muhammad 'alaihissalatu wassalam was full of compassion, forgiveness and sincerity. He excelled in virtue and piety. The people of Makkah called him "Al-Ameen" (The Trustworthy) and "As-Sadiq" (The Truthful).

It was through these fine qualities and noble values, that the Prophet 'alaihissalatu wassalam was able to win the hearts of the people of Makkah and Madinah and bring them to the fold of Islam.

Apart from maintaining a strong faith, a Muslim also has to maintain a good character.

The Prophet 'alaihissalatu wassalam said,

"Modesty and faith are twins. One who gives up one has to lose the other too."

A Muslim should refrain from being ill-mannered and immodest. When a Muslim has strong faith, his/her character will also be strong. If his or her character is very weak, then the faith will also be very weak.

A Muslim can create a good character within one's self by praying five times a day, fasting and paying zakaah. These forms of worship instill good manners and an exemplary behaviour within a Muslim.

The daily solat cleans a person physically and spiritually. It also prohibits evil and obscenity. Fasting teaches a person self-control and makes him righteous while zakaah creates kindness and sympathy within a person. It helps Muslims to become more charitable and more caring about the less fortunate in the society.

Muslims should also demonstrate an excellent character to their neighbours and the community that they live in. They should always present themselves as helpful and caring individuals to their neigbours.

In a Hadith, a person inquired the Prophet 'alaihissalatu wassalam about the fate of a woman who was very famous for her prayers and fasting but who always talked very rudely with her neighbours. The Prophet replied that she would go to Hell.

The same person also asked the Prophet 'alaihissalatu wassalam about another woman who prays and fasts and does not harm her neighbours. The Prophet replied that she would enter Paradise.

This Hadith shows that it is not sufficient enough for a Muslim to just pray and fast in order to enter Paradise but also, a Muslim has to be compassionate and caring towards other members of society.

Muslims should continue to display their exemplary behaviour and should show mercy and forgiveness even to their enemies. Prophet Muhammad forgave non-believers who caused great harm and injury to him. Rather than praying for their death and their destruction, the Prophet instead prayed for their forgiveness from Allah.

Muslims should also treat non-Muslims with respect and dignity. They should show compassion and mercy towards them. Once, the Holy Prophet Muhammad 'alaihissalatu wassalam was walking at a very slow pace with his companions. The Sahaba were very puzzled and asked him if they could walk faster. But the Prophet 'alaihissalatu wassalam replied that there was an old man walking ahead of him. His companions told him that the man was a non-believer but the Prophet replied that the man was worthy of respect because of his old age.

Islam spread to many parts of the world because of the noble character and the excellent qualities that were demonstrated by Muslims. Their compassion, tolerance and generosity spread throughout the world. It helped introduce Islam to other places and also showed our tolerance and respect to people of other faiths.

Excellent behaviour and good qualities are an important part of our religion. It helps us live peacefully together as a society and it also reflects our beautiful religion to the outside world.

(http://www.iqra.net/muslimstudents1/essayseniors11)

U M M I . . .

2007-07-21T02:32:00.001-04:00

ashtaaqu ilaiki ya ummii...

Ten tips on how to be a successful Muslim Husband

2007-07-19T09:53:00.000-04:00

1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time you went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that the Prophet (peace be upon him) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

2. Use the best names for your wife. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

3. Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to 'bug' him. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

4. If you see slight mistakes being done by your wife, try being silent and do not comment! It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when the Prophet ('alaihissalatu wassalam) would kiss his wife before leaving for prayer, even when he was fasting.

6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgement she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup!

7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.

8. Don't belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives.

9. Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how the Prophet (Pbuh) would race with his wife Aisha (radhiyallahu 'anha) in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

10. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger (Pbuh): "The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family." Try to be the best!

(http://www.islamfortoday.com)

The Wedding Ceremony.

2007-07-16T02:20:00.001-04:00

1. Engagement does not qualify the future spouses to go out together, even if the parents consent. Man and woman become permissible for each other only after the performance of Nikah.

2. Shari'ah does not make any expense incumbent on the bride's parents. Even the marriage expenses, it is recommended to be borne by the bridegroom. However, the bride can bring whatever she wants of her free will, and it will always belong to her.

3. Other unislamic customs :

Many other unislamic customs have crept into the marriage ceremony of some Muslims. These customs are either borrowed from non-Muslim cultures or continue because they are established in past generations. One must avoid them if they are against the Shari'ah, even if some people are displeased. All actions, customs etc., which show disrespect to Islam or weaken the importance of Islam, have to be avoided.

4. Haraam acts :

Some of the rituals in marriage ceremonies are absolutely haraam like "kuda kepang" etc. What is also haraam is mixed gatherings without proper Hijab. Such things invite divine wrath and take away the blessings of this auspicious occasion. In the Islamic Law, marriage is an 'Aqd, a contract. The components of this contract are as follows:

A. Proposal :

In Islam the process of proposal by a man to a woman for her hand in marriage, or for that matter, to her family, is encouraged. Islam considers this natural, and recommends it as an act of respectability and dignity for women.

B. Mahr :

The intending husband is asked to offer a Mahr to the bride.

The Quran says, "And give women their Mahr as a free gift, but if they of themselves be pleased to give up to you a portion of it, then eat it with enjoyment and with wholesome result."(Surah Nisa 4:4)

The following points are worthy of consideration :

a) Mahr must be agreed upon by the marrying partners themselves, not by parents.

b) Mahr is her right, to which her husband remains indebted.

c) It is a free gift and not her price.

The Mahr may be cash or non-material (like training or teaching something). It can be paid up front or can be in form of promise to pay upon demands decided prior to the solemnization of marriage. However, it is much recommended to pay it before or at the time of Nikah itself.

C. The Nikah Ceremony :

If the marrying partners are not able to recite the Nikah formula (akad nikah) in Arabic, one or two persons or priests are appointed and authorized to officiate. One who represents the bride would first seek her explicit consent to officiate on her behalf, and so would the other who acts on behalf of the groom. Naturally, there would be a slight variation in the pronouncements, because the persons reciting them are appointees.

It is encouraged to recite a brief discourse or Khutba before the Nikah formula is enunciated. In this Khutba, Allah is praised for His Wisdom in regulating the lawful process of procreation, and then the traditions from the Prophet (s.a.w.) are also recited.

D. Permission of the Bride-to-be/Father :

The girl's consent is necessary and has to be taken by her representative, directly.

In the case of a virgin/spinster, the father or the grandfather's permission is also necessary. However if the permission is unreasonably withheld under some conditions, or the girl has no father/paternal grandfather, then it is not necessary.

However, a woman who is not a virgin, does not require any permission in case of remarriage.

E. Walimah (Dinner):

Walimah is highly recommended on the groom. The relatives, neighbors and friends must be invited for Walima. However, lavish spending is not advisable especially when the same money can be used effectively by the couple.

(http://www.ezsoftech.com/omm/handbook.asp)

Islam's stance on oral sex.

2007-07-04T07:17:00.000-04:00

"...I have a question that perplexes my mind, and I want you to clarify. What is the Islamic stance on oral sex between the husband and his wife?.."

Click here.

Only Allah...

2007-07-01T11:59:00.000-04:00

"What aspiration have I,

What desire,

Except seeking nearness to the Lord,

That He may look at me with mercy,

That day when I meet Him,

Well pleasing to Him,

Also He with me, well-pleased."

- Al-Habib Ahmad bin Zayn Al-habshi

Teaching and learning methods in Islam

2007-06-24T12:59:00.000-04:00

The ancient Muslim educationists adopted a special method of teaching that promotes the recipients of knowledge. The following are some of the teaching methods.

1. Forsaking Tension

Teachers ought to treat their pupils leniently and kindly and avoid any tension and cruelty since these two things impede the mental growth and author serious psychological complexes.

Ibn Khaldun says, "Tensional teaching injures the pupils, especially the children and the harshly educated."

2. Suggestive Rebuke

Muslim educationists believe that the insinuative rebuke should be within the teaching methods in case pupils show irregular behavior or imperfect work since this method is more impressive than expression. They said, "Teachers who notice an irregularity or a crooked behavior should not state it directly to the pupils. They should insinuate within their common speech by referring to the disadvantages of such a behavior. This will achieve the intended convention."

This method, in fact, is more useful than direct reproach, which may lead to rebellion and insistence on the wrong. Islam has asserted this topic in the fields of education and teaching.

It is related that Imams al-Hassan and al-Hussein, the grandsons of the Prophet, once noticed an old man perform the ritual ablution incorrectly. They avoided stating to him directly; hence, they agreed on making him the arbiter who should rule of the most accurate ablution. As they performed the ablution before him, the old man said, "O masters! You both have performed the very accurate ablution, but it seems that the old man can master nothing."

Islam has adopted this necessary practice since it saves the deviant from irregularity and aberrance and takes him back to the truth and right.

Educationists said, "The pupil that is not amended by insinuative impression, owing to lack of understanding and perception, secret expression and frank warning should be used. If this method is unsuccessful, the teacher may warn openly and reproach. If this is also unsuccessful, the teacher then may dismiss and leave the pupil till he returns."

THE LEARNERS' MANNERS

Muslim educationists have been greatly concerned with the learners' affairs. They constituted the considerable methods that aim at disciplining and acquiring the virtuous ethics and noble manners.

- Learners should seek knowledge for Allah's sake purely, neglecting any worldly interest or valueless purpose. God will surely raise the respects of such learners, facilitate the difficulties, grant perception and intelligence, and combine the welfare of this world and the Hereafter.

- Learners should carry out the religious instructions and precepts as well as the noble morals and ritual practices. They should fear Allah in their hiddens as well as their appearances and purify their hearts against discommended qualities such as envy, ostentation, pride, and arrogance since these characters are the vilest and the most unassuming.

An educationist says, "Knowledge is not the abundance of narration. It is an illumination that is cast in hearts."

- Learners should exert all efforts for seeking knowledge since it is not inspirational. Knowledge is acquirable. It depends upon the scope of the efforts that lead to obtaining scientific fortune. Learners should respect time as well as their lessons. Any tardiness will waste the classes and cause the teachers' carelessness.

- Learners should not exaggerate in studying lest their powers and energy will be exhausting and the mental maturity be impeded. It is essential for learners to have sufficient time for rest and physical relaxation. Men should regard the rights of their bodies.

Imam Al-Ghazali said, "It is essential to give the pupils sufficient time for acceptable amusement and relaxation after the fatigue of teaching. Preventing the pupils from entertainment after the exhausting teaching will deaden their hearts stupefy their minds. This will also cause a life disturbance and oblige them to look for trickeries for the sake of getting rid of such a disturbance."

- Learners should not ask rigor questions otherwise they lose prosperity owing to disrespecting the knowledge and dishonoring the teachers whose approval should precede everything else.

- Learners should respect their teachers. Learners should also esteem their teachers in their presence or absence, use various styles of honoring and veneration, neglect using their names, and stand their flaws and roughness. Learners should be in the class before their teachers, sit in front of them, not lean to a wall or a pad, and not turn the back before them. They should also listen heedfully to their teachers and save them against repeating the teaching materials. Learners should avoid yawning, eructing, laughing, mocking, or practicing any deed that dishonors the teachers.

- Learners should not associate with other than the hard-working students so that they receive the good behaviors. It is said that the social life is influential and being influenced. Each individual gives and takes from the surroundings. Lazy and slender individuals will surely convey their qualities to their associates.

- Primary learners should not involve themselves in discrepancies and ambiguous opinions of the master scholars especially in conceptual thesis, lest these variant opinions will weaken their mentalities and natures.

- Learners should not move to another lesson before they master the earlier. Negligence will surely cause tardiness and skillessness.

(http://www.imamreza.net)

Status of teachers in Islam

2007-06-20T00:41:00.000-04:00

(By: Muhammad Baqir Qarashi)

Islam has paid considerable attention to teachers for their being the first brick in the structure of social development and perfection and the cause of guiding and developing behaviors and mentalities of individuals and communities. The Prophet cared for teachers and showed their elevated standings. Once, he passed by two circles of people; the first was supplicating to God while the other listening to a teacher. He commented, "The first is begging Allah who may or may not give them. The second was learning. I have been sent as a teacher." Hence, he joined the second.

Teachers are exemplars

Teachers are indisputably their pupils' exemplars. Pupils acquire the good traits and sound trends, as well as the virtuous behavior and equanimity, from their teachers whose guidance and conducts penetrate to their hearts. On that account, teachers must overdiscipline themselves and train on virtuous and noble morals and manners to be the best exemplars of their pupils.

As a caliph appointed a teacher for his son, he instructed, "The reformation you will provide to my son should be a part of your self-reformation. Flaws of pupils are totally related to yours. They will deem good only what you deem good and deem evil only what you deem evil."

An educationist states, "Teachers are the good exemplars to whom the pupils refer inadvertently."

Another educationist says, "Majority of people are pursuing states of the speakers. Those who are not are very rare. Hence, teachers should care for themselves more than improving their ways of teaching."

It is said that admonitions of masters that neglect applying them are being very unstable in hearts.

Abul-Aswed ad-Dueli composed a couple of verses in which he said:

O, man that teaches others! You should have taught yourself first
Warn not against a manner while you are doing
This is the great shame on you
Begin with yourself in interdicting sins
If you do it then you are truly wise
Only then, your admonition will be acceded
And your words will be ensued and teaching be useful.

Self-disrespect and immorality of some teachers have been the cause that resulted in the present youth's irregularity and deviation from the social traditions.

Teachers' Rights

Teachers enjoy abundant rights on their pupils since they are sources of their perfection and familiarity with life experts. They are also sources of their mentalities' illumination. Therefore, teachers' rights are preferable to fathers'. Pupils are required to show their teachers the highest pictures of respect and reverence.

Imam Zainul-abidin says, "The right of your instructor is dignifying him and committing to solemnity in their classes and good listening and attending. You should provide for your instructor with mental presence and conceptual attendance and heart retaining and sight propinquity. The way of all these is laxness of desires and confine of lusts. You must understand that you are the emissary of what you have been received to the ignorant you may meet. Then, you should convey properly and never breach the mission if you should perform."

These golden words have been definitely suffocated with teachers' rights that bring about the nation's guidance in behavior and morals.

Teachers' Qualities and Responsibilities

The ancient Muslim educationists referred to a number of qualities and responsibilities that the teachers should apply on their teaching life. These qualities may participate in making the teachers the noble exemplars and achieving the prosperity of education and teaching for creating a generation of equanimity and good manners. The following is an exposition of these qualities:

- Teachers should offer their disciplinary activities for Allah's sake. Their acts must aim at reforming the Muslim young generations. They should avoid thinking of riches or positions. Deviation is the inevitable fate of any teacher that intends to gain good livelihood or high positions through his missions.

- Teachers should be of extraordinary faith in Allah the Exalted, and should perform the rituals for showing the Islamic norms and destroying the seditious. They should also acquire noble traits so that Allah will cast understanding in their minds.

Ibn Masud said, "Knowledge is not the abundance of narration. It is an illumination that Allah casts in minds."

- Teachers should clean their bodies and practice the other ablutionary activities such as clipping the nails and avoiding unpleasant smell.

- Teachers should copy the virtuous and pious men among the Prophet's companions and their followers.

- Teachers should be concerned with the serviceable knowledges and avoid the useless and disputable.

- Teachers should be concerned with the knowledges that take to the affairs of the Hereafter.

Shaqiq al-Belkhi asked his student, Hatem al-Asem about the questions he had learned. "How long have you been with me?" asked the teacher. "Thirty three years," answered the student.

"What have you learned all these years?" asked the teacher.

"I have learnt eight questions," replied the student.

The teacher expressed his sorrow and said, "I have finished my years with you, but you have learnt eight things only!"

"That is it," expressed the student, "I do not want to lie."

"Well," said the teacher, "Let me hear."

"They are the fondness of the good deeds, shoving the caprices away, decency and god-fearing, befriending the right, antagonizing the devil, adhering to obedience, leaving the humiliation of seeking earnings to people, and depending on God," counted the student.

The teacher expressed his great admiration and esteem and said, "O Hatem! May Allah prosper you. As I looked in the Torah, the Bible, the Psalms, and the Quran, I found these eight questions to be the pivot of these Books."

- Teachers should not engage themselves in positions higher than their abilities until they accomplish their profession and grant the certificate of master teachers.

As-Shibli says, "He whoever has the front before attaining suitability is meeting his shame."

- Teachers should discipline the pupils with their accounts and deeds in addition to words and admonition.

- Teachers should love their pupils and guard them against harm.

- Teachers should pardon and acquit the pupils who make mistakes. They should use intimation in attracting their attentions to their faults. If they do not conceive, teachers then may state the fault openly. Then comes the reproach. The Prophet 'alaihissalatu wassalam said, "Teach without chiding. Teachers are preferable to the scolders." He also said, "Use leniency to those whom you teach and those who learn you."

- Teachers should welcome the attendant pupils and ask about the absent.

- Teachers should not answer questions they ignore. They may confess they do not know.

Ibn Mas'ud said, "O people! He, whoever is familiar with something, should say it, otherwise he should say : Allah is the most knowledgeable. This saying is a part of knowledge."

- Teacher should realize the levels of the pupils and offer to them according to their understandings. They should intimate to the smart, elucidate for others, and repeat for the unintelligent.

- Teachers should refer to the unchanging rules and the exceptions of the materials they teach. They should also urge them on working and ask them to repeat the matters they had to memorize. They should also ask them for testing their understandings and order them of moderation especially when signs of physical or mental fatigue are shown. They should recommend the bored ones of rest and relaxation.

- Teachers should not ask for intolerable matters that do not fit the students' minds and age. They should not ask the students of reading books that are mentally unattainable. They should test before referring to a subject to be perceived. After test, teachers may refer to books that accord the pupils' minds. They should not engage the pupils with several subjects at the same time.

- Teachers should not teach when they are annoyed or complaining an illness, hunger, or anger since these states may harm the students and themselves.

- Teachers should neither prolong nor shorten the lessons unacceptably. Likewise, they should neither raise nor reduce their voices inadequately.

- Teachers should allot certain times to receiving the scope of the pupils' memorized items. In the ancient times, teachers allotted Wednesday night and Thursday morning to recalling. Friday was the day off.

- Teachers should treat the pupils equally and avoid any sort of discrimination.

The Prophet is reported to say, "Teachers who have three students- of different social classes- and do not treat them equally, will be in the line of the traitors on the Resurrection Day."

- Teachers should supervise the pupils' tendencies and mental desires so that the suitable subject is chosen. They should lead the pupils who seek another subject to the correct direction.

- Teachers should reward the hard-working pupils and praise them before the mates.

Ibn Maskub said, "Pupils should be praised and rewarded for any good manner and favorable act they show."

- Teachers should be accurate in treating the pupils. They should count their breaths and account their entire movements and activities.

The desires of seeking knowledge should be evolved in the pupils' minds. Teachers should refer to the most significant matters that advance them and their societies plentifully. Pupils will surely pursue knowledge resolutely if this noble tendency is sewn in their minds and, consequently, the conceptual and scientific life will be prosperous in the country.

Because they applied those programs, the teachers of the early eras of Islam could produce those virtuous generations of such high traits and perfect maturity, and achieve the most remarkable scientific renaissance the sparks of which have covered all of the ages.

(http://www.imamreza.net)

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